|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|"Crash Site Crashers"|
|Airdate||August 18, 2014|
Crash Site Crashers is the fourteenth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 12 and the 259th episode overall. It aired on August 18th, 2014.
- Lopez 2.0 (Mentioned only)
At the New Republic Headquarters, Felix approaches a depressed Kimball, who mourns over the “loss” of the Reds and Blues near the lake. Felix deceives her by stating that the four captains managed to rescue their friends and wanted to end the war, and encourages her to tell the other rebels about the news, in order to inspire them to fight back. Felix then tells Kimball that the Feds are gathering at Chorus’ capital, Armonia, and persuades her to launch an attack on them; one final push to end the war. Initially reluctant, Kimball agrees to the plan and thanks Felix for all of his help.
Meanwhile, at the Forest Base, Carolina prepares the Blood Gulch Crew for their mission: the Red Team will search Crash Site Bravo for the manifest, while Carolina and the Blue Team search Crash Site Alpha for other clues. With Dr. Grey staying behind, the two teams begin their mission. At Crash Site Alpha, Carolina and the Blues quickly discover a large, levitating pillar. Meanwhile, at Crash Site Bravo, Grif and Simmons reminisce about their time with the rebels, as Sarge and Donut gather info from the manifest.
Back at Crash Site Alpha, the Blues become concerned upon seeing a large alien ship that has also seemingly crash landed in the area. After Carolina gathers everyone near the second half of the ship’s manifest, Epsilon quickly begins transferring data. Suddenly, several space pirates teleport to the group’s location and begin attacking them, forcing the group to defend Epsilon while he continues the transfer. As the pirates close in on them, Tucker hectically removes the drive, ending the transfer short and forcing the group to flee.
As both teams return to the forest, with the Reds successfully obtaining the manifest, Epsilon and Tucker argue over the event at Crash Site Alpha. All of a sudden, a space pirate, having been teleported back with Carolina and the Blues, nearly assassinates Caboose, but is intercepted by Carolina, who re-injures her leg in the process of saving Caboose. As Dr. Grey comes to Carolina’s aid, the group restrains the mercenary, all while Tucker watches on.
Fade in to the algae lake at the New Republic Headquarters. Kimball is seen staring at the lake. Felix approaches her.
Kimball: What do you want?
Felix: Just wanted to see how you were doing.
Kimball: "How am I doing?" How do you think I'm doing?! I put all of our hope into the hands of a bunch of strangers and they run off and get themselves killed!
Felix: It was a leap of faith. Sometimes you fall.
Kimball: Well, we're falling fast. ...I believed in them.
Felix: And they believed in us.
Kimball: (angrily) What are you talking about? THEY LEFT US!
Felix: Kimball, they accomplished their mission. They actually managed to rescue their friends, and they were going to come back - I saw it myself. They wanted to end this war. They wanted peace for Chorus.
Kimball: Well, what good does that do us now?
Kimball turns to face Felix.
Felix: If you go back up there, and you tell those men that their heroes died fighting for them, then you can turn this tragedy into something more. Turn it into fuel for one last fire.
Kimball: Felix, they're mourning.
Felix: When they should be fighting! Vanessa, how many people have we lost at this point? Do you think it'd even count? The only thing different about these soldiers is that they inspired us. And I'm telling you, they can still inspire us even though they're gone. ...I was waiting to tell you, I recovered some data from the compound. The Feds are all gathering in the capital this week, and I mean all of them. Some sort of rally or something, I don't have all the details, but it sounds like they're getting ready for one last push. I guess without the Reds and Blues they think they can finally put an end to us. But I think we need to hit them first.
Kimball: You want to storm Armonia? That's insane.
Felix: I want all of us to do it! Think about it: One mission that could end everything. We may never have another chance at this.
Kimball: (sadly) I told Tucker the same thing...
Felix: You've got an army up there that wants to avenge their heroes! I say it's time you let them.
Kimball: (sighs) Okay. Okay-okay, this could work. No, it will work! It has to.
Felix: Now there's the leader I know. Never give up, right?
Kimball: Right! (walks forward) Transfer that data to my personal computer. Then let's get a meeting together in the war room.
Felix: You got it boss!
Kimball: And Felix... thank you. For everything.
Felix: I'm just doing my job.
Cut to the Blood Gulch Crew lined up at the forest base. The Blues are lined up on the left and the Reds are lined up on the right.
Carolina: Alright, each team has two teleportation grenades. One to transport you there and want to get you back. First priority is obtaining the manifest, but, while we're in, we should also search for additional supplies. Teleporters, weaponry, anything that could help. (to the Reds) I don't expect there to be a hostile presence at Bravo, but becareful nonetheless.
Sarge: Don't get shot, got it.
Carolina: Alpha's another story. We've acquired its coordinates for teleportation, but never actually investigated the area. From what we've gathered it's a massive hotspot for pirate activity. I'd understand if you don't want to join us.
Wash: Given the situation, I'd say you need all the help you can get. Count us in.
Caboose: Yeah, pretty sure Church would be disappointed if I didn't come also, sooo...
Carolina: Dr. Grey, you stay here and keep an eye on things while we're gone.
Grey: Wonderful! I'll prepare a meal out of the surrounding fungi and vegetation for your return!
Wash: Please don't.
Tucker: See you when we get back?
Simmons: Just don't get captured. The last thing we need is another fucking rescue mission!
Epsilon appears next to Carolina
Epsilon: Okay people, the mission starts now.
The teams teleport away. Cut to Carolina at a wasteland.
Epsilon appears next to Carolina.
Epsilon: Motion tracker says we're clear.
Epsilon: What, did I stutter?
Carolina: And you're sure we're in the right place?
Wash: (off screen) Carolina?!
Cut to Blue team starting out into the horizon. Carolina joins them.
Wash: I think we're in the right place.
CRASH SITE ALPHA
The camera pans back to reveal the Blues and Carolina staring at a large, alien-like, laser structure. Cut to Grif, Simmons and Lopez in front of Red base at Crash Site Bravo.
Grif: I remembered it being bigger.
JUNGLE CANYON, "CRASH SITE BRAVO"
Simmons: No way, this place was always cramped. I couldn't walk two feet without stepping in your garbage!
Donut: (over radio) Oh come on guys, it's not the size that matters, it's how you use it!
Lopez: Como alguien que fue una vez una cabeza cortada, les puedo asegurar que este lugar fue siempre un montón de mierda, sin importar el tamaño que sean.[As someone who was once a severed head, I can assure you this place was always a pile of shit no matter what size you are.]
Sarge: (over radio) Hey knuckleheads, get your asses off memory lane and get back to looking for supplies!
Cut to Sarge and Donut inside the crashed ship
Sarge: Me and Princess bubblegum have got an entire ship to search! So far we ain't found didley squat! The least you can do is quit jamming up the radio with your darn pillow talk!
Cut back to Grif and Simmons
Sarge: (over radio) You got that?
Grif: Technically sir, you only have half a ship to search.
Sarge: (over radio) Why you good for nothing, little-
Transmission gets cut off
Grif: You know Simmons, I can't help but notice a severe lack of ass kissing ever since we found Sarge.
Simmons: Uh well, we've all been busy with the genocide prevention thing. You know how it goes.
Lopez: Jesús, a ustedes en verdad les gusta la conversación de alcoba. Me voy de aquí.[Jesus, you guys really do pillow talk. I'm out of here.]
Lopez walks away
Grif: I don't know man, maybe being in charge of those rebel guys rubbed off on you.
Donut: (over radio) Hey, Donut again. I think you accidentally muted Sarge, but I couldn't help but overhear about what you just said about guys rubbing off-
Transmission gets cut off
Simmons: What do you mean? We were terrible leaders.
Grif: Well yeah. But you gotta admit, they did make you feel pretty important.
Simmons: Yeah, I guess...
Grif: Hey, where's Lopez?
Simmons: I don't know. Probably off doing the actual mission or something?
Lopez: (shouting) ¡Oigan chicos! ¡Encontré el cuerpo gigante de Dos.0! ¡Pero qué idiota![Hey guys! I found Dos.0's giant body! What an asshole!]
Cut back to Crash Site Alpha. The Blues walk across the wasteland.
Tucker: This is bullshit! They've got armor enhancements, they've got laser guns and now, they've got giant space dicks shooting loads of energy out of the ground?! The fuck is that about?
Carolina: If you don't keep your voice down, we'll never find out.
Tucker: Whatever, Church said the place was deserted.
Wash: Still, it gives me the creeps.
The Blues turn to see a crashed alien ship.
Wash: And I'm starting to think we might have not been the only ones to crash on this planet.
Tucker: Oh, what was your first clue?
Caboose: Mine was the spaceship.
Carolina: (shouting) Over here!
Cut to the Blues inside of the crashed ship.
Carolina: Think this will work?
Epsilon: Well, it's still online, so there's that at least. Infrastructure's a mess though it's... oh damn, hold on a second.
Tucker: Seriously? Church couldn't find the zoom on the sniper rifle. What makes you think he can plug in and find-
Epsilon: Alright, got it. Sorry Tucker, what were you saying?
Tucker: Don't be a showoff.
A teleportation sound is heard from outside.
Wash: What was that?
Epsilon: Uh oh. Four hostiles just popped up on radar.
Carolina: How close?
Epsilon: Not very. If we keep quiet we should-
Another teleportation sound is heard.
Epsilon: Right, fuck that! Okay, give me a drive. Now!
Tucker: What's happening?
Carolina: It's in.
Epsilon: Transferring data.
Epsilon: Yeah, uh, how do I say this? Ahem. They know we're here and they're coming to kill us.
Caboose: Yeah, one of those days, am I right? Am I right guys? It's one of those days because you know it's, it's pretty much the worst.
Cut to outside the ship, where multiple mercenaries are seen arriving at the crash site and approaching the crashed ship. Cut back to inside the ship.
Tucker: How'd they find us?
Carolina: I don't know!
Wash: How much time left on that transfer?
Epsilon: Hard to say, this computer is beyond fucked. I'm doing what I can.
Carolina: Don't worry, we can wait.
Tucker: We can?
Epsilon: Watch your right!
Two mercenaries uncloak and open fire on the group. Carolina kills them both.
Tucker: Dude, we gotta go!
Epsilon: Hold them off for a few more seconds!
Two more mercenaries run up from behind.
Wash: Behind us!
The two mercs activate their hardlight shields. Wash shoots them but his shots are deflected
Caboose: Ah come, come on that's just cheating!
Epsilon: Hold on!
Wash continues shooting at the mercs as they get closer.
Tucker: Man, fuck this!
Tucker grabs the flash drive.
Tucker: Get us out of here!
Carolina: (frustrated) Ugh, damn it!
Carolina pulls out a teleportation grenade and tosses it towards the ground, teleporting them away. Cut back to the forest hideout.
Grey: So, how'd it go?
Epsilon: (to Tucker) YOU FUCKING JACKASS!!
Tucker: (to Epsilon) Me? We were sitting ducks out there!
Epsilon: Wha- bu- WE ALMOST HAD IT! We only needed a few more seconds!
Tucker: You don't know that!
Epsilon: What the f- YES I DO! News flash! I was there and by the way, I'm made out of numbers! Why can't you just trust me?!
The Reds suddenly appear at the base, having teleported back.
Sarge: One manifest, hot and ready to go! (chuckles) No need to thank us.
The others stare at the Reds.
Sarge: But don't let that discourage you if you want to.
Epsilon: At least the Reds managed to bring something back. All we got was- Wait! Caboose!
A cloaked mercenary sneaks up behind Caboose.
Caboose: Hey! That's me!
The merc uncloaks, grabs caboose, and prepares to stab him.
Caboose: (alarmed) OH MY GOD!
Carolina uses her Speed Boost and punches the merc. The two then fall to the ground.
Wash: Where the hell did he come from?
Epsilon: He must have teleported back with us.
Caboose: My life just flashed before my eyes! It was awesome! Ah, let's do that again!
Carolina: (in pain) Uh, my leg!
Dr. Grey runs to Carolina's aid.
Grey: Outta the way, doctor coming through!
Epsilon: Damn it!
Epsilon disappears. The camera pans in on Tucker as he watches on.
Grey: Oh! Well that is a lot of blood!
Wash: Someone restrain this guy!
Donut: I've got just the handcuffs for the job! I've been saving them for a special occasion!
- Carolina's forearms and legs seem to alternate between Mark V and Mark VI variant.
- Carolina explaining the risks of Crash Site Alpha, and preparing them to undertake a dangerous mission is a parallel to her gathering the soldiers in Change of Plans, to confront the Director despite a low chance of survival for any of them involved. However, instead of forcing all of the Blood Gulch Crew to partake in a similarly risky and life-threatening mission, she gives them an out to not compromise their lives, which in turn shows an change in her behavior and treatment towards the soldiers.
- Caboose wanting to go so that Church "wouldn't be disappointed" could also be a direct reference to Church's speech in Change of Plans where he expresses his "disappointment" by lashing out in a rant against the Reds and Blues for not backing him up in their mission against the Director.
- Lopez appears in alternatively rendered animation for the first time in this episode.
- The Blues searching at Crash Site Alpha is a possible reference to their first base, Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha.
- Sarge calls Donut "Princess Bubblegum," a reference to a character from the television series Adventure Time, who is also primarily pink.
- This may also be a reference to A Slightly Crueler Cruller, where Sarge calls Donut names of various female characters due to his pink armor.
- Lopez and Sarge's comments about Grif and Simmons' "pillow talk" is a reference to Red Gets a Delivery, where Sarge tells the two to stop the "pillow talk."
- Tucker mentions Epsilon's inability to find the zoom button on his sniper rifle, referencing Rounding Error.
- Tucker's choice to escape before Epsilon's transfer is over is a reference to Hit and Run, where he chose to stay until his own transfer was done, only to realize that his companion had been killed by the enemy due to his choice.
- When Carolina hits the ground, Tucker is holding a Battle Rifle instead of his DMR.
- At 7:00, when the Mercenaries begin marching to the crash site, one can be seen walking straight into a wall.