Red vs. Blue Episode
Episode no. Unknown
Airdate December 3, 2007[1]
Running time 6:25

Red vs. Blue Season 5
October 2, 2006 - June 28, 2007

  1. You Can't Park Here
  2. Got Your Back
  3. Baby Steps
  4. Sibling Arrivalries
  5. The Grif Reaper
  6. In Memoriam
  7. Strong Male Figure
  8. Yellow Fever
  9. Brass Tacks
  10. The Nesting Theory
  11. Spelunked
  12. The Haystack
  13. Terms and Provisions
  14. Missed Direction
  15. Where Credit Is Due
  16. Biting the Hand
  17. Tucker Knows Best
  18. Loading...
  19. The Wrong Crowd
  20. Uncommunicado
  21. Same Old, Same Old
  22. Repent, the End Is Near
  23. Why Were We Here?

D.I.Y. is a special episode of Red vs. Blue where the guys look at the maps on the Heroic Map Pack of Halo 3.


Red TeamEdit

Blue TeamEdit



The group journeys through the newest Halo 3 maps. They get a grand tour with Guilty Spark's stunt double, Ralph, exploring the Foundry, Rat's Nest, and Standoff maps, and describing the capabilities of Forge. In Foundry, Simmons creates a mancannon for firing objects at Grif. Ralph explains the layout of Rat's Nest while discouraging Church from touching a twenty megaton warhead. The Reds are impressed by the base in Standoff, which Caboose claims to have created. Ralph concludes by announcing the release date for the maps.


Fades in to the Blood Gulch Crew.

Church: All right, all right, all right everybody I need your attention. Now as you know, the guys from Bungie asked us to help them show off the new maps they made for Halo 3.

Sarge: They even sent a representative from Bungie to show us around.

Grif: Someone from Bungie is coming to hang out with us?

Sarge: That's not what I said.

A monitor flies to the group, beatboxing.

Monitor: Hey guys, how's everyone doing today?

Tucker: Oh cool! That guy!

Grif: He's famous!

Sarge: Not exactly.

Grif: What? Come on, that's Guilty Spark. He's like one of the main characters.

Church: Yea, we couldn't get the actual Guilty Spark, so this is the Sparks lighting and stunt double.

Simmons: What?

Monitor: I got the job because I look like Mr. Spark.

Grif: That's the lamest thing I've ever heard.

Monitor: Yep. And they even let me give tours on the weekend to earn extra money.

Grif: Lamest thing until I just heard that.

Church: Anyway, Ralph is here to show us around and-

Grif: Who?

Church: Ralph.

Simmons: Ralph? Who the hell is Ralph?

Monitor/Ralph: That's me.

Church: Yea, him.

Simmons: Come on. Can't you have a better name like Super Spark Jr.?

Grif: Or something like Eyeball 3000.

Caboose: Or Richard.

Tucker: Dude, Eyeball 3000 for sure.

Ralph: Well that's not really my name. I'd just prefer it if you-

Church: Like I was saying, Eyeball 3000 is here to give me and Sarge a V.I.P. tour of all the new levels.

Tucker: You just added the V.I.P. part, didn't you?

Church: Uh, yea.

Ralph: Let's start the tour right here. What do you think?

The Reds looks around the room confused.

Sarge: Think of what?

Ralph: This new level. It's called Foundry.

Simmons: This? It's a big empty room!

Ralph: Actually, it has a default configuration of crates and objects. But we deleted all the items so that you can use the level as a blank slate. Now with the new objects available in Forge, you can make any kind of arena that you want.

Grif: Okay, be honest. Since the split with Microsoft the programming budget just ain't what it used to be. Is that it?

Church: Okay, um, why don't you guys just stay here and check this place out while me and Sarge inspect the next one.

Ralph: Come on! Try configuring the room in new and exciting ways. See what you can come up with in Forge.

Tucker: What are we supposed to do with an empty room?

Ralph: Use your imagination.

Tucker: My imagination? This game is only rated M for mature. I reserve my imagination for the adults only-

Ralph: Ha-ha, yeah okay. Let's move on.

Doc and Sister are seen riding Mongooses around Rat's Nest.

Ralph: This is Rat's Nest. Based on the Crow's Nest level in the campaign. Except it's been redesigned for multiplayer experience.

Doc: Coming through!

Sister: Wooo!

Church: Cool! Hey, this outer track, does this thing go all the way around?

Ralph: Yes. And in here you'll find a shortcut that leads to either base. So you could take the vehicles around the outside, or you can run straight up the middle to the enemies territory.

Sarge: Straight up the middle? That's like hitting them from behind, but in front.

Church: Hey, what are these things? (punches large shells)

Ralph: Uh, please don't touch those.

Church: Oh why? Because they belong to Red team?

Ralph: No. Because they're armed and they have a 20 megaton payload.

Church: Oh, yeah those are good reasons too.

Sarge: Hey, look at this. It's a central turret that be used against either team. Preferably Blue Team.

Church: Either team? Man, Caboose is gonna have a hay-day with that thing. Ahh, crap that reminds me. We should probably go and check on them. Make sure they haven't broken anything.

Ralph: Good idea. Let's go.

Cuts to Church and Sarge walking to Foundry, where Simmons is seen next to several grav-lifts.

Simmons: Hey, check it out Sarge. We've been running experiments while you were gone.

Church: What is that thing?

Simmons: It simulates zero gravity environment by using a series of grav-lifts all aimed at a precise location. It let's us accelerate objects without friction.

Sarge: Okay... What does it do in English?

Simmons: See how Grif is standing over there at the other end. (cuts to Grif briefly before back to Simmons) Now, when I place something in this end the lifts accelerates it to the other end, and it gains speed over every point.

Sarge: Like what kind of objects?

Simmons: Well, if you could hang on a second, I'll show you! Man, amateurs.

Simmons walks away.

Church: Wow, Simmons. I've never heard you talk to Sarge like that. When did you get such huge balls.

Cuts to Simmons standing right next to two giant soccer balls.

Simmons: Huh, oh these things? There one of the new objects that are available in forge. Pretty cool, huh? (Simmons begins pushing one into the device) Watch what happens when I push one into the device. Drum roll please.

The ball flies through the grav-lifts before hitting Grif at the other end.

Grif: Ow!

Church: So you invented a device that fires things at Grif's face?

Sarge: This may be possibly the greatest discovery in the history of mankind!

Simmons: It has other applications as well, Sir.

Sarge: You mean you can fire other objects at Grif's face? (Sarge pushes a traffic cone into the device) Like a traffic cone?

The traffic cone hits Grif.

Grif: Ow!

Sarge pushes a spool of thick wires into the device.

Sarge: Or a spool of six-cage wire?

The spool flies toward Grif before he ducks to avoid it.

Grif: Okay, now that's just ridiculous.

Sarge pushes a dumpster into the device.

Sarge: Or a half ton dumpster?

The dumpster flies toward Grif.

Grif: Aw C-

Grif is immediately crushed by the dumpster before Tucker appears behind the others.

Tucker: Uh, hey guys? Caboose started to build something in forge like Simmons did. I think you might want to take a look at this.

Cuts to the group walking into a field, where several large radio dishes are seen in the distance.

Church: What the f-

Caboose suddenly appears standing next to a large tree above the group.

Caboose: Oh, hi guys! Look what I made.

Church: How?!

Caboose: I used the forgery thing.

Grif: You built all this with barrels and freights?

Caboose: Yep. I don't think I got the sky part exactly how I wanted it yet.

Church: Wh- Caboose, how did you manage this?

Caboose: Well, the scary floating thing said to use Tucker's imagination, but I didn't have his. I only had mine. So I used my imagination to pretend I had Tucker's. (suddenly zooms out to show the entire map) And look what I came up with!

Tucker: Thanks, I think.

Caboose: Yeah, Tucker you are very creative.

Grif: Is that a base?

Grif and the Reds begin to walk to the base while Caboose explains what he's "made" as the camera shows both bases.

Caboose: Yes! There's two. One for the Red Team, and one for the Good Team! (cuts to Caboose in one of the bases) I even included some of the upgrades you guys asked for. Because that's how I roll.

Simmons: Look! Computers!

Caboose: So you can do your math. (cuts to Grif in a room) And there's a quiet place for Grif to sleep.

Grif: Yes!

Cuts back to Caboose with Sarge standing behind him.

Caboose: And a place for Sarge to turn up the heat in the place where Grif sleeps!

Sarge flips a switch before cutting back to Grif's room which is now on fire, including Grif.

Grif: Ow.

Cuts back to Caboose standing next to Donut.

Caboose: Donut, try hitting that switch.

Donut hits the switch, opening the bases windows.

Donut: Look! He made windows that open!

Caboose: You always say the bases would look better with more natural light. So, yeah.

Donut: Ahhhh. You took my suggestion.

Cuts to the door opening.

Caboose: And that switch also reveals a rear entrance.

Donut: Wow! You took all of my suggestions!

Cuts to Church.

Church: Hey dude, what about our base?

Caboose: Oh, it's pretty much the same, but there's, ah... no room for Tucker in it. So, in a way it's much better.

Tucker: (sarcastically) Great.

Ralph: You guys do realize that he didn't build this? This is the third new map: Standoff.

Tucker: Yeah, but we found out it's easier to humor him rather than explain stuff to him.

Church: Okay, we're sold. When can we move in?

Ralph: All three maps: Foundry, Standoff, and Rat's Nest, will be available starting on December 11th on XBox life market place. Download it early so you can pown all the noobs on December 26th.

Cuts to a black screen, which says "Based on Halo 3, the XBox 360 video game developed by Bungie Studios and released by Microsoft Games".

Ralph: For more info, just visit


  • On Rat's Nest, Doc and Sister can be seen racing on Mongooses.
  • Because this episode was filmed before the Recollections, Caboose wears a standard Mark VI helmet.
  • The "quiet place where Grif sleeps" on Standoff is actually in the Blue base.
  • Burnie Burns created the first Grifball gametype when experimenting with outtakes from D.I.Y. There was an extended version of the script that had Donut and Grif making Forge creations on Foundry to go along with Simmons’ rail gun invention. Grif’s invention was going to be the laziest game type possible, where one basically walks into the middle of the room, pick up a flag and plant it two feet away. After the flying dumpster gag, however, the scene was cut. Since the game type was already made, Burnie started messing around with it while uploading the video. Those experimentations with Forge ended up as the foundation of Grifball.[2]
  • In the video, Caboose claims to have built Standoff himself using Forge, which Tucker sees as a delusional fantasy. Ironically, Deadlock, the official remake of Standoff featured in Halo 5: Guardians, was built entirely from items in the forge pallet.


  1. Xbox Marketplace


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