You Know What We Mean is a PSA in which Doc tries to help the Reds give out a holiday message without being offensive.
Characters[]
Red Team[]
Other[]
Synopsis[]
Simmons and Grif attempt to wish their viewers a Merry Christmas, but Doc warns them to be politically correct in order not to offend those who do not celebrate Christmas, and succeeds in convincing Simmons. Sarge ignores these warnings, but cannot complete his greeting due to various Xbox 360 features interrupting him, resulting in Sarge disappering. In the end Grif and Simmons send a numerical message.
Transcript[]
Fade in to Grif and Simmons in front of a warthog.
Grif: Hey everyone! You know it's this time o' year when our thoughts turn to our family and our friends.
Simmons: That's why we here at Red vs Blue wanna wish every one of you a very merry Chris-
Doc then walks in.
Doc: Hold it right there guys.
Grif: Doc, stop interrupting our holiday message.
Doc: Uh yeah. Listen guys, you should really know the holidays can be one of the most offensive times of the year.
Simmons: Offensive? Holidays are awesome. You get tons of Christmas presents, and you eat a bunch of candy canes.
Doc: But just think about how exclusionary that statement is to people that don't celebrate Christmas! Or to Dentists. Or to people who use canes!
Simmons: Huh, I never looked at it that way.
Grif: Oh come on. I suppose you want us to chicken out and just say "Happy Holidays"?
Doc: Yeah, I don't know. Holidays implies holy. Some people aren't religious at all. Also the word "happy" might be insensitive to people who suffer from depression.
Grif: What?
Simmons: He's right you know. Each year, clinical depression affects millions of Americans.
Doc: Don't say Americans.
Simmons: Oops! Right, you're right, sorry.
Grif stares at Doc.
Doc: What, it's a global platform.
Sarge walks in.
Sarge: What're you knuckle-heads yackin' about? I thought I ordered you to have yule-tide cheer! I don't see any yules, now get to yulein'!
Grif: The Grinch over there is tellin' us we can't do the holiday message.
Sarge: What in Sam Hell? What Commie told ya that? I'll kick him in his Kringle. I'll punch him in his holly bush. I'm gonna rip off his partridge and kick him in the pear trees!
Grif: Doc and Simmons are worried about offending people that don't celebrate Christmas.
Doc: Eeeeee...
Grif: Euhhhh, I mean the holidays.
Doc: Hhhh still kinda...
Grif: Huhhhh, that don't celebrate a special time at the end of the year. Is that better?
Doc: The Aztecs use a different calendar. The end of their year is actually-
Grif: Oh come on. The Aztecs have been dead for like a billion years.
Sarge: For once I agree with Grif. This is total nonsense! This is our show. We can say whatever kind of greeting we want.
Doc: Okay let's all just calm down, before somebody gets too festive. (clears throat) pardon me, I meant "seasonally excited."
Sarge: That's a bunch of Rudolph droppings if you ask me. I'm not scared of offending people! Just watch me go. Hi, this is Sarge from Red vs Blue. And I wanna wish everybody a very merry-
An Xbox status window for GrifKilla51 slides in from the left side of the screen, which goes to black and white.
Sarge: Hey, get that thing outta here.
The window is removed.
Sarge: And give us back our color!
The colour returns.
Sarge: That's better. Now as I was saying...
Grif: Uh, Sarge? I'd be careful if I were you...
Sarge: They can't stop the signal. Now, on behalf of everyone here at Red vs Blue, we wanna wish you all out there a very merry-
Sarge vanishes - GrifKilla51 signed out
Grif: Whoa what happened, where'd Sarge go?
Doc: I guess they stopped the signal.
Simmons: Okay, well, if we can't say happy holidays then what can we say, hmmm...
Doc: Just think of something as inoffensive as possible.
Simmons: What if we just say "hi"? Hello.
Doc: In what language?
Grif: Heuhhhhh.
Simmons: How about, if we just send a universal mathematical message with no implied emotion.
Doc: Would you send it in hexadecimal?
Simmons and Grif look at each other, then back to Doc.
Simmons: Yes.
Doc: Okay!
A Christmas picture appears on screen displaying several numbers and letters and a message.
4D 65 72 72 79 58 6D 61 73 21 (translates to "MerryXmas!")
From the employees at people and other people.
Sarge: (voice) And happy Tchanukah, yous guys.
Video[]
