Red vs. Blue vs. Rooster Teeth

Red vs. Blue vs. Rooster Teeth is a special episode of Red vs. Blue and the twenty-fourth and final episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 14. It aired on October 16, 2016 for sponsors, October 17th, 2016 for Rooster Teeth site users, and October 23, 2016 for the general public. It is the 308th episode overall.

Similar to the fifth episode of the season, this episode takes place in a parallel universe and is unrelated to the main storyline.

Characters[]

Red Team[]

Blue Team[]

Rooster Teeth[]

Other[]

Carolina (Mentioned only)
Malcolm Hargrove (Mentioned only)
V.I.C. (Voice only)

Plot[]

V.I.C. brings back his multiverse theory, and reveals he discovered in his archives a theory that Red vs. Blue is just a cartoon "made by a bunch of losers in Texas. I mean, talk about far-fetched."

At Valhalla, Lopez has fixed the Red's teleporter. When they turn it on, it starts making loud-noises, and they prepare for the worst––only for Caboose to appear. When they ask why he was in the teleporter, Sarge starts talking in Caboose's voice. The scene shifts to the Rooster Teeth Machinima studios, where Miles Luna is berating Josh Ornelas and Kyle Taylor for bobbing the wrong heads. As the three feud over the meaning of the word "sarcastic," Burnie Burns and Geoff Ramsey enter. Burnie criticizes them for fighting on the job, while the three complain about the Rocket Rooster energy drinks that they are being forced to drink. Burnie is angry at the three for them working with Red vs. Blue without him, but finds little support from Geoff, who does not remember working on the show because he drank a lot––actually, he still does. After a failed attempt at insulting them, Burnie leaves fuming while Miles prepares to add three dozen more pivotal characters.

Burnie and Geoff wander around the studios, plotting some sort of petty vengeance against the three. It is then that Burnie notices the "RvB Kill Switch," which will shut down Machinima. Meanwhile, in the Red vs. Blue universe, Sarge comes up with the plan to all jump into the teleporter. Back in the studio, Miles berates Josh and Kyle again for not making Tucker come out of the teleporter. Josh gets pissed at Miles when he mishears the phrase "black lines don't matter", knocking Miles's can of Rocket Rooster Energy Drink onto their Xbox, just as Burnie pulls the RvB Kill Switch and the Blood Gulch Crew jumps into the teleporter. And in a flash of green light, Sarge, Caboose, Simmons, Grif, Donut, and Lopez are all teleported straight into the Rooster Teeth studios, right in front of Miles, Josh, and Kyle, who proceed to run away screaming.

The Blood Gulch crew, noticing their oddly high-quality appearance, take stock of their surroundings, and Sarge concludes they are in the enemy lair, with Lopez the only one who recognizes the studios as a commercial business. The group split up, Grif heading to the kitchen, Simmons heading to find a control room, Sarge and Caboose scouting the area, and Lopez trying to fix the teleporter.

Matt Hullum helps Joel Heyman mess with the animation departments' workspace when they hear something. Hiding, they notice Sarge and Caboose walk by, to their confusion. Matt goes to investigate. Sarge and Caboose find themselves in the motion capture stage, and notice their appearance in a screen.

Grif goes to the kitchen to find some food, and starts investigating the fridge. Geoff Ramsey comes in, and with his view blocked by the refrigerator door, starts chatting with Grif about their mutual hatred towards doing work and love of doing nothing. As the two agree to split some Oreos and a bottle of Jack Daniels, Grif pokes his head out from behind the door, and Geoff realizes he has been speaking to the character he voices.

Simmons finds himself in the RT Podcast studios, and puts some headphones on. Gus Sorola, who has been sleeping in the control room, is awoken by Geoff screaming, and puts on his own headphones. He and Simmons start speaking to each other, but they think they are speaking to themselves across the space-time continuum. Simmons spots Gus, and thinks he's the enemy and needs to retreat. Gus, not realizing who he is talking to, tells Simmons to just go ahead and attack the enemy. Simmons does as he is advised, and Gus runs away screaming from the gunfire and grenades.

Sarge hears Simmons's weapons going off, and tells Caboose to hold his position while he goes to fight the enemy. Joel walks in on a frozen Caboose. "Now there's something you don't see everyday," he comments. Matt looks around the studio, only to literally bump into Sarge. The two engage in a battle of words, arguing over who is really in charge.

Burnie walks into the Machinima control room, only to talk into Lopez. The robot, who has literally met his maker (not to mention his voice actor), explains to Burnie how they ended up in the Rooster Teeth studios, and how he hopes he finishes his mission knowing the group never broke with their integrity and after fourteen years it is finally time to go home. Burnie does not understand a single word because he does not speak Spanish.

Sarge is still threatening Matt, but Matt informs Sarge that four crazy people are about to run around the corner and smash right into him. True to his prediction, Gus, Geoff, Grif, and Simmons come running around the corner. The Rooster Teeth employees make a run for it.

Joel is finishing up a speech to Caboose, telling him he needs to invest all of his money in gold. Matt runs in and makes him leave, but not before Joel gives a last wistful goodbye to his character. Caboose breaks his pose and comments, "That was the smartest person I have ever met." Sarge, Grif, and Simmons quickly rejoin him.

Matt, Joel, Geoff, and Gus take a breather right next to the RvB Kill Switch, trying to make sense of what they have just seen and how to reverse it. Geoff, remembering everything started when Burnie pulled the switch, suggests they pull the switch again. Meanwhile, Lopez and Burnie fight over the Xbox as the rest of the group reenter. Just as the Rooster Teeth guys pull the switch, Donut enters with cocktails made from Rocket Rooster Energy Drinks, Lopez loses his grip on the Xbox and crashes into the rest of the Blood Gulch crew, causing Donut to send the drinks flying into the Xbox in Burnie's hands. Burnie finds himself in Valhalla with the Reds and Blues. "Oh, son of a bitch."

Back at Rooster Teeth, everything seems to have returned to normal. Matt declares this means it is safe to drink Rocket Rooster Energy Drink. Gus and Geoff leave in disgust, while Joel goes to count his gold, because that's what he does. Just as Matt leaves, Tucker finally appears in the studios, once again delayed by the teleporter.

After the credits, Miles and Geoff comment that they have not seen Burnie in a while. Tucker has apparently taken a job at Rooster Teeth, and tries to flirt with Barbara Dunkelman, only to get punched in the face.

V.I.C. returns one last time, explaining that this is the end of the season. He brings back his multiverse theory, explaining that since there is an infinite number of parallel universes, there are probably and infinite number of stories to be told. He then reveals why he has been guiding the story: he is encouraging the viewers to go out and write their own stories: stories of the Reds or the Blues, or some other group of soldiers. It does not matter what they write, as long as they do not stop writing, because that stories will be theirs, and a universe without those stories is just empty space.

Transcript[]

VIC: Now, I know it's been a while since we covered it, but, for this last piece I'd like to bring up the whole Multiverse Theory again. See, I was digging through my archives and I found something ca-razy. I mean, seriously dude, C-A-R-AZY. It's a theory about a universe where Red Vs. Blue is just a cartoon! Made by a bunch of losers in Texas! Heh, I mean, talk about far-fetched! But still, seemed entertaining enough, so let's just humor the idea.

[Title]

[In Valhalla]

Donut: Oh yeah, that's it Lopez! Way to bend over and work those nuts! Grip that shaft! Give 'em a good screw!

Lopez: Dios mío, ¿por qué no puede quedarse muerto? [Dear God, why can't he just stay dead?]

Simmons: I still don't understand how our teleporter keeps breaking. Who could be taking parts out of it?

Sarge: Well, uh, certainly no-one building a secret Physical Location Object Transfer device! Sometimes referred to as a P.L.O.T. device, for short! Not that I would know.

Grif: Teleporter, shmeleporter! I already tried telling him all you have to do is turn the power off and then turn it back on. Problem'll fix itself. It's proven science, like, uh, global cooling!

Lopez: OK, te he salvado de tu propia incompetencia otra vez. [OK, I've saved you from your own incompetence yet again.]

Sarge: Muchos amigos, Kimosabe! *chuckles* Simmons, activate Red Base Teleporter Number 1!

[Sparking Sounds from Teleporter]

Grif: Woah, what's wrong with this thing?

Simmons: Oh God! It's drawing too much power!

Lopez: Tuve que usar partes de la cama de bronceado de Donut. [¡Lo tenía overclockeado!I had to use parts from Donut's tanning bed. He had it overclocked!]

Sarge: Look out, everyone! Incoming!

[Everyone Screams]

[Caboose Enters Through Teleporter]

Caboose: Hello.

Simmons: Well that was anti-climactic.

Donut: Sure was! And I really wanted to climax with all you guys...

Lopez: Por favor, haz que se detenga. [Please, make him stop.]

Sarge: HA! Stupid Blue! You walked right into the trap we didn't even know we had set!

Grif: Which means you is even dumber than us is!

Simmons: *sigh* Caboose, why were you in our teleporter?

Caboose (With camera focused on Sarge "talking"): Well, I was playing hide-and-seek with Tucker, and crawled into the deep freezer, my favorite hiding spot, when I saw a bright light!

[Pan away from screen showing scene]

[In RT Studio]

[Hand slams an energy drink in front of the screen]

Miles: Wait! Cut! Guys, what are you doing?! Okay, those are Caboose's lines. You're bobbing to the wrong heads, the Blue guy, not the Red guy!

Josh: Oh, son of a bitch! There's too many damn colors in this goddamn show!

Tyler: I know! It's so confusing.

Miles: Guys, please, you know I hate it when I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, right? So could you just, you know, reason with me here?

Tyler: Oh, Mr. Miles Luna can't tell if I'm being sarcastic? Mr. Writer gotta use the big words like "sarcastic"!

Miles (Over Josh and Tyler): It's like, a standard word, dude. It's like a basic word.

Tyler: Spell it in a sentence for me! Sarcastic!

[All three argue unintelligibly]

[Burnie enters with Geoff]

Burnie: Well, well, well! If it isn't another episode of Red Vs. Blue in production. What a lovable collection of bickering morons! Of course, the actual characters in the actual show are funny, but I guess you dipshits are even funnier!

Miles: *fake laugh* Burnie, it's so good to see ya! Look, it's getting late, we have a tight schedule here, and all we have left to drink are these Rocket Rooster energy drinks that Matt keeps forcing on everyone!

Burnie: That's because it gives you a magical level of efficiency, Miles.

Josh: It also turns my ass into a magical mudslide, Burnie.

Miles: What do you want?

Burnie: Oh, I don't know Miles! Maybe I wanna save the legacy of my inspiring career from the millennial hacks that have taken over my show! You know, back when WE worked on Red Vs. Blue, we actually gave a shit! Isn't that right, Geoff?

Geoff (emphatically): I don't remember!

Burnie: H-how do you not remember? You worked on the show for like, six years!

Geoff: I drank a lot!

Miles: Alright, well Gramps, thanks for stopping by, but I think it's time you two just shuffled on out of here if you wanna catch that Early Bird special! I hear the senior discount ends at 5 pm.

[Miles, Tyler, and Josh laugh and high five]

Tyler: That's 'cause they're old!

Josh: Fell the Burnie bu...burn.

Miles: You got there, no you got there, that was good.

Tyler: Good one.

Burnie: OK, alright, well I guess you guys think that you're pretty hot shit, huh? Well guess what?! WE are the hottest shit that there is! In fact, we're so hot, we're like a giant bag of shit that's lit on fire, and then you put it on your neighbor's doorstep, ring the doorbell, and run away in the middle of the night! And then your neighbor comes out in his robe, and his slippers, and he's like: "What's this? Oh, it's a huge burning bag on my doorstep! I better put that out!" So he starts stomping on it! He's stomping on the fire! But guess what? He's not stomping on fire! He's stomping, on, SHIT! And that hot shit that's on the bottom of his slipper?! That's us!

[Silence]

Josh: That's a really weird fucking metaphor.

Burnie: YOU'RE a really weird fucking metaphor! Am I right Geoff?

Geoff: Uh, I don't know.

Burnie: How can you not know? It's not that hard.

Geoff: I still drink a lot.

Miles: *sigh* Gentlemen, I think it's time you moved on, okay? Now, if you'll excuse us, we gotta get back to adding three dozen brand new, pivotal characters to this season's story arc. Later!

Burnie: I made pivotal characters... Come on Geoff, let's go!

Geoff: Yeah! Let's go, Geoff!

[They leave]

[Miles, Tyler and Josh complimenting each other]

Miles: You did a good job, that burn? The Burnie burn?

Tyler: That was awesome.

[Tyler and Josh high-five]

Miles: Alright, now was that a sarcastic high-five, or a serious one? I just don't wanna go down this road again, ok?

Tyler: ...What does sarcastic mean?

[Miles sighs in exasperation]

[Cut to Burnie and Geoff elsewhere in the studio]

Burnie: Son of a bitch! How can they be so arrogant? No one's better than me! You know, we need to put those guys in their place! But how?

Geoff: We could convince them to make some kind of permanent change in their appearance, like a mark, or a design, or something on their skin that seems super cool at first, but after fourteen years or so seems ever-so-slightly less cool. Ah, who am I kidding? Nobody's dumb enough to fall for that repeatedly...

Burnie: No, nobody's that dumb. What we need is...

[Burnie points to RvB Kill Switch]

Burnie: ...a simple solution!

[Burnie and Geoff laugh manically]

Geoff: Like the Nazis!

Burnie: Wha-? No, that's... Geoff, that's the FINAL solution. I-I'm gonna cut the power!

Geoff: Ohhh!

Burnie: Yeah, why Nazis? That was kinda weird...

[Cut back to Valhalla]

Lopez: Debe haber una solución simple a este problema. [There must be a simple solution to this problem.]

Sarge: Precisely, Lopez! Scientifically, there's only one way to make sure this teleporter is finally working properly! And that's for all of us to jump into it at exactly the same moment!

Lopez: Eso no es lo que quise decir en absoluto... [That's not what I meant at all...]

Simmons: Sir, that doesn't make any sense.

Sarge: On the count of three! Ready?

Grif: *sigh* Well this is a great plan.

Sarge: One!

[Cut to Burnie about to flip kill switch]

Burnie: Alright, ready?

Geoff: Yeah.

Burnie: One...

Geoff: Oh man, this is gonna work perfectly!

Burnie: Oh this plan is definitely gonna work. Two...

[Valhalla]

Sarge: Two!

Lopez: Esto nunca va a funcionar. [This is never going to work.]

Sarge/Burnie: And.....

[Cut to Miles and crew]

Miles: And, three! *pause* Three! *pause* Three. Three. Thr-three? Guys, what the fuck are you doing? Tucker's supposed to come out of the teleporter and say his line!

Josh: Um, which...which one is Tucker again?

Miles: The teal one!

Tyler: I thought he was cyan...

Josh: No, no, no, Carolina's cyan. Tucker's aquamarine.

Miles: They're the same color!

Tyler: Than which one was turquoise?!

Miles: Guys! Look, Tucker's black when he comes out of the teleporter, OK? It's not important, because black lines don't matter!

Josh: Boy, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

[Josh smacks the energy drink out of Miles hand]

[Drink flies through air]

Sarge: And...

Burnie: And...

[Drink falls and spills on Xbox]

Miles (slow motion): Fuuuuuuuuc-

Sarge: And...

[Kill switch crackles with electricity]

Burnie: Three!

[Throws switch]

Sarge: Three!

[Reds and Caboose charge into teleporter]

[Kill switch throws off arcs of electricity]

[Screens glow green]

Tyler: My eyes!

[Miles and crew are thrown away from screens]

[Sarge, Caboose, and Simmons stand directly across from Miles, Josh, and Tyler]

Miles/Tyler/Josh: *screaming*

Caboose: *screaming*

[Miles, Josh, and Tyler run out of room screaming]

[Burnie watches trio run away]

[Cut to Reds and Caboose]

Caboose: *still screaming*

Simmons: Caboose, what are you screaming about?!

Caboose (yelling): I don't know, just seemed like the popular thing to do! *continues screaming*

Sarge: Can it, blue-tard! You're going to give away our position!

Grif: What position?

Simmons: Where are we?

Lopez: ¿Y quiénes eran esos idiotas? [And who were those morons?]

Donut (strikes pose): And how is it we're looking so good? Check out the sheen on my armor! I feel like I just got slathered in baby oil, and now I'm ready to party!

Sarge: Can it, pinkie pants! It's clear that our teleporter has been sabotaged! And now, we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of...

[Sarge walks into hallway]

Sarge: ...the enemy's lair!

Grif: This, uh, "lair", looks more like a warehouse?

Caboose: That would make it a "lairhouse"!

Lopez: Claramente, esto no es una base enemiga. Este es un negocio comercial. [Clearly, this is not an enemy base. This is a commercial business.]

Sarge: I agree, Lopez! There COULD be traps set around every corner!

Simmons: What's the plan, Sarge?

Sarge: We need to reconnoiter! Emphasis on the "noitre".

Grif: Got it. I'll scope out the enemy's mess hall. Perhaps by eating their food, I'll learn the way they think.

Simmons: There's gotta be a control room here somewhere...

Donut: And hopefully a day spa! Ooh, maybe we can give each other facials!

Lopez: Y me quedaré aquí e invertiré en ingeniería la anomalía del teletransportador que nos permitió cruzar hacia una realidad alternativa. [And I will stay here and reverse engineer the teleporter anomaly that allowed us to cross into an alternate reality.]

Sarge: Excelente! The work load is evenly divided then! Grif, you take the left flank. Simmons, the right! Donut, take the rear.

Donut: As always!

[Reds and Caboose split up, talking amongst themselves]

Sarge: Watch where you're going! Watch where I'M going, more importantly!

[Cut to Matt walking through darkened RT office, Joel on computer in background]

Matt: Hey Joel!

Joel: Oh, yeah, hey man.

Matt: You're here late.

Joel: Yeah, I like to come in after the animators have gone home for the day and mess with their desks in weird ways.

Matt: [laughs]

Joel: So you've got, like, the used Kleenex, and then the lotion, and I'm about to mess with the browser history.

Matt: Oh, hey, type this in: M-E-A-T-S-P-I-

[Crashing sounds off screen]

Matt: What was that?

Joel: I think someone's coming.

Matt: Okay, quick, let's hide.

[Both duck under desks opposite each other]

Sarge (Off screen): Watch where you're going, dirtbag!

Caboose (Off screen): Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way!

[See Sarge and Caboose walk between Joel and Matt]

Joel: What the hell was that?

Matt: I don't know. I'm gonna go around back and try to figure it out. Hold this position, okay?

[Matt crawls away]

[Cut to Sarge and Caboose entering motion capture studio]

Caboose: Oh... ah... Look at all the devices!

[Computer turns on, showing Sarge and Caboose]

Sarge(reading sign): "Motion capture computer. Authorized personnel only"? What in the Sam He-

Caboose: Admiral Sergeant, look! The computer is mimicking me! Bad computer, that is rude!

Sarge: Occam's Laser! I see what's going on here! Our enemy has figured out a way to capture our every move, and then turn it against us! Why, with nefarious technology like this, they could control an entire army! Possibly even two!

Caboose: Or even an entire dance party!

[Disco music plays over Caboose awkwardly dancing]

Sarge: *growl*

[Cut back to darkened office, music in the distance]

[Joel climbs out from underneath desk, sees all computers playing Caboose dancing]

Joel: That can't be good.

[Cut to Grif in kitchen]

Grif: Let's see what we got in the fridge, I guess.

[Opens fridge, full of only Rooster Teeth energy drinks]

Grif: Gee whiz, the enemy sure drinks a lot of energy drinks. That must be exhausting. Where's the real food? Wonder what the enemy eats?

[Opens second fridge]

Grif: Huh, too healthy... not fattening enough...

[Geoff walks in, Grif obscured by open fridge door]

Grif (throwing out food): Vegetables?! Ugh! Where the hell do they keep the Oreos?

Geoff: Hey, what the hell are you doing?

Grif: Uh, nothing! Just, uh, cleaning up the mess here, sir!

Geoff: Ugh, kitchen duty huh? Man, I hate cleaning stuff.

Grif: Yeah, tell me about it. I hate doing any kind of work, especially if it benefits others.

Geoff: Ain't nothing like doing nothing!

Grif: Yeah, now you're talking! Y'know, I bet I'm way better at doing nothing than you!

Geoff: Not a chance! I haven't done anything in years!

Grif: Not doing anything isn't nothing, it's actually something. And you can be proud of that kind of nothing-something.

Geoff: You're right. It takes a lot of work to avoid doing work, and that's the kind of work I don't ever avoid.

Grif: Why can't other people see that being lazy is the hardest job of all?

Geoff: Right? I like the way you think! And hey, I may hate sharing almost as much as I hate work, but... if you're still looking for those Oreos, why don't you try the vegetable crisper?

Grif: Aww, sweet! I'll tell you what, buddy, maybe we could split these. I'm only going to eat the middle part anyway.

Geoff: Me too! And, you now what? I think I have just the thing for us to wash it down with!

[Grif comes out from behind fridge door]

[Geoff drops bottle of Jack Daniels]

Grif: Uhhh... I'm not cleaning that up.

[Cut to Simmons, approaching RT sitting area]

Simmons: Oh, come on. What is this shit? This place is a dump! Is this somewhere Grif would sit? Gross! Huh, what do we have here? Looks like some kind of communication device.

[Simmons picks up headset]

[Cut to Gus sleeping in editing studio, Geoff screaming in the background]

Gus (startled awake): What was that?

Simmons (through headset): What was that?

Gus (putting on headeset): Testing?

Simmons: Testing?

Gus: Hello?

Simmons: Hello?

Gus: Huh. System seems to have some kind of feedback loop.

Simmons: Yeah, I'm definitely getting a feedback loop.

Gus: The feedback loop seems to be modulating itself.

Simmons: That's unusual.

Gus: But not entirely unpredicted.

Simmons: Mathematically it makes perfect sense.

Gus: I think I've finally proven my theory!

Simmons: Using this device...

Gus: ...the feedback loop is allowing me to transcend the barrier of the space-time continuum...

Simmons: ...time continuum, and I can now communicate with myself...

Gus and Simmons: ...in the future!

Gus: Uh, future me, where are you? I mean, where am I? I mean, where are we?

Simmons: This location... I don't know, it's hard to describe. It's very ugly. Uh, kind of place that only someone with very bad taste would enjoy. I mean, it's a real fucking shit show in here.

Gus (with Simmons visible through window behind him): That doesn't sound familiar. Uh, is there anything that looks recognizable?

Simmons: Oh, I think I found the control room. Oh, shit!

[Simmons ducks below window into control room]

Gus: What is it?

Simmons: I think I saw the enemy. He's a fucking ugly bastard!

Gus: The enemy? Is there some kind of war in the future? What's going on?

Simmons: What the fuck kind of stupid question is that? Don't you know anything?

Gus: Hey man, I'm not the one from the fucking future, OK?! I don't know what the hell's going on here!

Simmons: I'd better just get out of here, this is definitely the time to retreat.

Gus: Retreat?! Fuck that shit, don't be a pussy!

Simmons: What? I don't have any backup!

Gus: Do you have any weapons? I dunno, something you can fight with?

Simmons: I have a rifle with a 60 rounds and... a couple of grenades...

Gus: What the fuck. Man, the future is crazy!

Simmons: What do I do?

Gus: I dunno, use one of your grenades and...shoot any of the bad guys who come out.

Simmons: OK, here goes nothing.

[Simmons tosses a grenade into the control room]

Gus (seeing grenade): Whoa, holy shit!

[Gus takes off headset and rushes out the door screaming]

[Grenade explodes]

Simmons: I see the enemy! I'm gonna shoot him!

[Starts shooting Gus]

Gus: Ahhh, don't shoot! Fuck the future! (Runs off screen)

[Cut back to Caboose, still dancing]

Caboose (over explosions in the background): Dance. I like dance. Dancing, dancing, I like dance!

Sarge: My god... The enemy is attacking! You hold this position, while I flank them.

Caboose: Holding position!

[Caboose freezes in what appears to be mid-wave]

[Joel enters, stares at Caboose]

Joel: ...That's something you don't see everyday.

[Cut to Matt and Sarge slowly backing up towards each other in darkened office, before colliding]

Sarge: Ha-ha!

Matt: Woah, woah, woah! Hey!

Sarge: Quit yer yapping, dirtbag! Where's the rest of your soldiers?

Matt: Soldiers? You mean, em-ployees? This is a practical joke, right?

Sarge: *chuckles* Yeah, and the punchline is: I punch you in the face!

Matt: So no?

Sarge: Who's in charge here?

Matt: I am.

Sarge: ERR, wrong again. I am.

Matt: No, I-I am.

Sarge: No, I am!

Matt: No, I am.

Sarge: Uh-uh, I am.

Matt: Why do you just keep repeating the words I say?

[Sarge cocks shotgun]

Sarge: When you hear my shotgun a-cockin', you better start a-talkin'.

Matt: ...Are you just trying out one-liners?

Sarge: Shut up, dirtbag.

[Cut to Burnie near recording room]

Burnie: Hello? Anybody still here? Yo!

[Looks into recording room]

Bunie: What...?

[Enters room]

Burnie: Oh my god!

[Lopez stands up in front of Xbox]

Lopez (In Spanish): ¡Oh Dios mío! [Oh my god!]

Brunie: What the hell's happening in here?!

Lopez: El hombre que me creó me trajo a todos aquí, y ahora parece que estamos atrapados. Quiero terminar mi misión sabiendo que hicimos el mejor trabajo posible y nunca comprometimos nuestra integridad. Ahora, después de catorce años, es hora, finalmente, de volver a casa. [The man that created me brought us all here, and now we seem to be stuck. I want to finish my mission knowing that we did the best work we possibly could, and we never compromised our integrity. Now, after fourteen years, it is time, finally, to go home.]

[Burnie looks sentimental]

Burnie (straight-faced): Yeah, dude, I don't speak Spanish. I have no fucking clue what you just said.

[Gus and Geoff run through hallway in background]

Gus and Geoff: Ahhh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

[Grif and Simmons follow behind them]

Grif and Simmons: Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

Burnie: I wish I could go just one week without dealing with those fucking morons!

[Cut back to Sarge and Matt]

Sarge: Last chance, numbnuts!

Matt: OK, listen, listen. I don't know why we're here, I don't know how this happened... but before you pull that trigger, I do know one thing.

Sarge: *growls*

Matt: There are four crazy people about to run around that corner and smash right into you.

Sarge: *chuckles* You really think I'm gonna fall for that-

[Gus and Geoff run through, screaming, followed immediately by Simmons and Grif, screaming and shooting]

[Cut to Joel mid speech with a frozen Caboose]

Joel: - And that you see, is not only the true meaning of life...but why all of us should invest all of our money... in gold.

[Matt enters room]

Matt: Joel, what the hell are you doing man?! Come on, we gotta get the hell outta here!

[Joel follows Matt]

Joel: Right behind you!

[Joel pauses before leaving the area and looks back at Caboose]

Joel: Goodbye friend.

[Joel exits, and Caboose unfreezes]

Caboose: And that was the smartest person I have ever met.

[Sarge, Grif, and Simmons enter]

Sarge: What happened?! Where did the enemy go?

Simmons: Those idiots outsmarted us!

Grif (out of breath): They were one step ahead of us.

Sarge: That bastard! It's like he was reading my mind! Like he knew my thoughts before I even thought them!

Caboose: Yeah, I feel that way all the time.

[Gus, Matt, Joel, and Geoff meet, out of breath, at the RvB Kill switch]

Gus: What the hell is going on?!

Geoff: Did we all really just see what I think we saw?

Joel: Maybe-maybe we're just hallucinating, right? Like, we probably had way too much Rocket Rooster Energy Drink, right?

Matt: *holds up an energy drink* Or... maybe not enough?

Gus: Oh, come on, fuck off with that.

Matt: Fuck you guys, it's a major profit center!

Gus: Man, whatever's going on, we have to figure it out. We have to reverse it.

Geoff: *snaps fingers* The switch! That's how we got into this mess!

Joel: Are-are you sure?

Geoff: Yeah! It makes sense, we-we turn the power off, and we turn it back on again, and the problem fixes itself! It's... a proven science, like, uh... global cooling!

Matt: We can do this guys, we can do this! On three!

All: One!

[Cut to Lopez and Burnie fighting over Xbox]

Burnie: Let go! That is my Xbox!

Lopez: ¡Este es mi teletransportador! [This is my teleporter!]

[Sarge, Simmons, and Grif enter]

Sarge: What in Sam Hell? Lopez!

Lopez: ¡Déjame ir, malvado señor! [Let me go, evil overlord!]

Burnie: I told you! I-don't-speak-Spanish!

[At Kill Switch]

All: Two!

[At Recording Room]

Bunie: Let go!

[Donut enters with tray of drinks]

Donut: Hey guys, I didn't get a facial, but I did find a bunch of energy drinks and made us all cocktails!

Simmons: Christ, Donut, are you fucking kidding me?

Donut: Now, who wants to cock, and who wants to tail?

[Burnie pulls Xbox out of Lopez's hands, knocking him backwards into Simmons, who dominoes into everyone else, ending with Donut]

[Burnie laughs over victory]

[Tray of drinks fly out of Donut's hands]

[At Kill Switch]

Matt: And...Three!

[Electricity arcs out of switch]

[At Recording Room, drinks fly towards Burnie and Xbox]

[At Kill Switch, everyone screaming as electricity cracks everywhere]

[At Recording Room as drinks are about to hit Burnie]

Burnie (in slow motion): Noooooo-

[Cuts between both locations, everyone screaming]

[Black]

[In Valhalla]

[Reds and Caboose stand in a line, when Burnie appears amidst them in a flash of green light]

[Burnie looks around, confused]

[All Reds and Caboose look at him]

Caboose: Hello!

Sarge: *growls*

Burnie: Oh, son of a bitch!

[At RT studios]

Gus: I think that maybe everything's back to normal.

Geoff: Yeah, the problem seems to have fixed itself! #Science!

Matt: So, I guess the real lesson here is that it's perfectly safe to drink Rocket Rooster brand energy drink! There are no proven long term, or short term side effects!

Gus: Yes. That's the real lesson. Fuckin' idiot...

Geoff: You're an idiot...

[Gus and Geoff leave]

Matt: What? What?

Joel: I'm gonna go count my golf, because that's...what I do.

Matt: Guys, this is how we make all of our money. I mean literally, all of our money. Could you just work with me? I mean, it only causes cancer in...some people.

[Pan to Recording Room, where Tucker suddenly appears in a crackle of electricity]

Tucker: Three! *looks around empty room* Awww, fuckberries.

[Credits with disco music]

[After credits, in RT office, Miles and Geoff look over room of people working]

Miles: You know, it's weird how we haven't seen Burnie around.

Geoff: Yeah, it's not the same without him. Gotta admit, kinda like the new guy though.

[Cut to Tucker at a computer as Barbara passes by]

Tucker: Well hello! Are you a model or famous actress? Bow Chicka Bow Wow!

[Barbara punches Tucker, who falls out of his chair]

Tucker: Ow-Bow-Ow...

[Barbara storms past Miles and Geoff]

[Cut to Space]

VIC: Ladies and gentlemen, Reds and Blues, chicos and chicas. It's been fun, but as an old bald British dude once said: "all good things must come to an end". Yknow, I keep thinking back the this whole multiverse thing. If there's REALLY an infinite number of parallel universes, then that means there's probably an infinite number of stories out there that still need to be told. Maybe some of them are funny. Maybe some of them are sad. Maybe some of them start out LOOKING funny, but then totally hit you with the bait-and-switch, and get you all sad. I dunno. After all, I'm just one of an infinite number of VICs, which is exactly why I'm here. Why I've been guiding you this entire time. To open a window. To open your eyes to the truth. As long as there's stories, there needs to be storytellers. And that is where YOU come in. Tell your story, dude or dudettes! It could be one in a billion others, but it'll be yours. Make it about the Reds. Make it about the Blues. Heck, make it about some other group of soldiers that no one ever heard about until YOU told them. Show us villains that tell themselves they're heroes. Build entire worlds brick-by-brick! Teach the galaxy about friendship! But whatever you do, DON'T. STOP. Because a universe without stories...well, that's just empty space amigo. Allllright, well that does it for me, I'm out! 555-V-I-C-K signing off! Don't call me, I'll call you!

[Music plays over black]

Gallery[]

Trivia[]

This is the longest running episode in the series.
Donut and Tucker do not meet their voice actors, unlike the other Reds and Blues, in this episode. This is most likely because their voice actors, Dan Godwin and Jason Saldaña, don't work for Rooster Teeth beyond voicing said characters. (However, Dan is still credited as "Donut/Himself".)
- Church/Epsilon does not appear in this episode; instead, Burnie Burns meets Lopez, who he also voices.
The actors all wear shirts colored like their characters and behave like them in the episode.
Despite the teleporter always teleporting people with their equipment, some of the Reds and Blues (and Burnie) lose their possessions on teleporting to reality and back to the game.
The "Black Stuff" running gag is mentioned (and later appears) in this episode. The "Oh, son of a-" running gag also appears in the episode. In addition, after Caboose runs into something offscreen and Sarge berates him, he replies "Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way." In addition, Lopez understands the situation perfectly and gives a stirring speech about finishing the mission and knowing they did their best, but even Burnie, who voices Lopez, doesn't understand his Spanish.
While chaos ensues elsewhere in the Rooster Teeth office, Joel appears to give Caboose (who stands frozen, told by Sarge to "hold his position") a speech about the meaning of life... and why everyone should invest their money in gold, continuing a real-world "running gag" about Joel's obsession with gold. Towards the end of the episode, Joel leaves to go count his gold "because that's... what I do."
The confusion about Tucker's and Carolina's armor color is mentioned on this episode. Miles berates Josh and Kyle when they struggle to tell the difference between the different shades of blue, commenting that Tucker's armor is supposed to turn black after he comes out of the teleporter anyway, and says, "It's not important, because black lines don't matter," angering Josh.
The episode also contains numerous references to "global cooling" and comparisons to its reliability. In fact, global cooling was a hypothesis (with little support in the scientific community) that gained temporary public attention in the 1970s but was contradicted by subsequent climate trends. One such comparison has Geoff suggest that they power-cycle the switch that led to the Reds and Blues being transported to the real world to fix the problem, saying it's a proven science like global cooling.
The Red vs. Blue kill switch actually exists.
When Barbara Dunkelman punches Tucker for flirting with her, the stance she takes is similar to her 'RWBY character Yang Xiao Long. She also delivers the punch with her right hand, similar to how Yang does.
Vic comments towards the end of the episode, "as an old bald British dude once said: 'all good things must come to an end.'" The line refers to Malcolm Hargrove delivering the line in the Season 13 premiere Prologue.
VIC's line about something looking funny but then hitting you with a bait and switch is a reference to the unexpectedly emotional endings of Season 10 and Season 13.
The word that Matt almost spells out to Joel while messing with the animators' browser history is "meatspin." The word in question is the name of a popular Internet shock video involving a man flailing his genitalia around like a helicopter.
Tucker's pickup line before getting punched by Barbara, "Are you a model or a famous actress?", is a callback to a similar line he says in Familiar Surroundings.