|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||June 23, 2008|
Fade in to Church and Caboose
Church: Hi. I'm Private Church from the popular web series Red vs Blue.
Caboose: And I am also a popular show.
Church: We've been putting RvB on the web for several years now, and we've noticed a lot of trends on internet forums.
Caboose: But more importantly, we've also noticed some things, that never happen.
Church: Right, and we know all about the rush to be first on forums; to say something fresh and new that no one has ever heard before. So we thought we'd help all of you out by telling you ten things we've never heard said on an internet forum.
Video is then Cut. Each item is preceded by a shot of a forum post with the text from the beginning of the first sentence contained within it, to give the clever illusion that these were actually on the forum. Except for the LOST stuff.
Sarge: You know I remember when nobody knew about this band. We used to have to go to small clubs to see 'em. Now they've gotten so popular, we get to see them in huge arenas all over the Country, and their songs are on the radio all the time. It's great! I'm really happy for them, and for all their success.
Church: Yeah, it's a really great feeling to have been a part of something at the beginning, that turned out to be so popular.
Video Cut. Church is talking with Lieutenant Miller.
Church: Hey you know that song that automatically plays every time I load your MySpace page? I love it! It's like a soundtrack for the internet.
Video Cut. Church and Sarge are looking at a dancing baby.
Sarge: Oh, this video. I've already seen it before! And I loved it! Thanks for showin' it to me again, so I could relive the experience.
Caboose: You, are welcome!
Video Cut. Sarge is talking to Lopez in who is in a warthog.
Sarge: And what ever happened to the numbers on the hatch? It's like they're just makin' it up as they go along-
Caboose walks in.
Caboose: Excuse me, I am new here and there is a lot of things I don't understand.about the way this place works.
Sarge: Wow. A new user. That's great! We'd be happy to show you the ropes.
Lopez: Amoa nuevos personas.
Caption: I love new users.
Lopez: Yo puedo esperar oír una opinion fresca sobre.
Caption: I look forward to their fresh perspective on the things we usually talk about.
Sarge: Welcome newwww best friend.
Video Cut. Sarge talking to Church who is off screen.
Sarge: Hey, you know that video game that's exclusive to the video game console you play? I just read that they're making a version for the video game console that I play!
Church: Wow, thah- man, that is a relief. I was getting really tired of telling people with other consoles how great this game was. Now I'm so glad you guys are gonna have a chance to enjoy it too. And I'll tell you another thing, I'm gonna be really excited to see the differences in the two versions.
Church: Hey, that new PC game you want to play? Comes out next week, but it costs fifty-five dollars.
Caboose: Fifty-five dollars? That's more than I wanted to pay... Oh well, I guess I won't get to play it then.
Church: Eh well, maybe you could save up.
Sarge: So I was reading the AOL homepage the other day...
Caboose: But luckily, a woman's voice reminded me that I could win a free iPod. Otherwise I would have missed the ad altogether!
Sarge: And what about the polar bears? What were they even doing on the island. Hey, you wanna come talk about this?
Church: Not really, thanks. I don't really like that show, and I don't think I'd have anything good to say about it; I figure, you know, why bring you guys down?
Sarge and Caboose stare at Church.
Sarge: If you like that guy's one YouTube video, you should really watch the rest of his work. You really get to see him grow as an artist.
Cut back to Church and Caboose
Church: So there you have it. Feel free to use these statements in any of the forums that you frequent. We guarantee you'll be the only person to use 'em.
Caboose: Just be sure to include the copyright statement at the end of this video.
Church: Well that's a given. You know how much we all value copyright.
Sarge: Why would you even cast a kid in that part anyway? You know he's gonna go through puberty in the fifth episode. First thing we're flashin' backwards, then we're flashin' forwards, next thing you know we'll be flashin' sideways to Everybody Loves Raymond! And that smoke monster; don't get me started on the smoke monster.
- This PSA switches between the Halo 2 and Halo 3 engines.