|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||August 22, 2011|
Sarge and Church offer some tips for viewers about how to avoid awkward situations when gaming with people in the same room.
Fade in to Sarge and Church
Church: Hi, I'm Private Church from the popular web series, Red vs. Blue.
Sarge: And I'm Sarge, from the same show.
Sarge: You know, back in my day, multiplayer gaming used to be a little different.
Church: You know in the modern days of gaming, you don't even have to know a single person to get together an awesome match.
Sarge: However at some point in your life, you'll find yourself sitting down on a couch, next to some other people for some good ol' fashioned gamin'.
Church: And these in-person encounters can be rather awkward, if you're not prepared.
Sarge: That's why we would like to present our handy guide, to gamer etiquette.
Church: The place where you are most likely to run into problems, is the dreaded controller handoff.
Sarge: When your friend hands you a controller, you are likely to run into a few possible problems. The first being what's known as, the hot'n'wettys.
Church: Intense gaming can produce higher heart rates, and thus, higher body temperatures.
Sarge: And thus sloppy sweaty palms preheating your controller into a steamy moist mush factory.
Church: This may be a level of intimacy for which you are unprepared.
Sarge: To protect yourself, we recommend packing a set of fingerless gloves to any LAN party. They're fashionable, and they leave your fingers free for successful fragging.
Church: And more importantly to prevent the unwanted transfer of human warmth from your friend, to you, thus fueling your body using his metabolic process, which when you think about it, is kind of gross.
Sarge: When you say it like that, it is gross.
Church: And also so you don't have a situation where you get covered in your friend's moist hand slime.
Sarge: Also it's possible that your friend will let you borrow their own controller to play the game. This may also cause an, unfortunate situation.
Church: The existence of shitty, third-party controllers means that your friend will be faced with a choice. He can give you the nice first-party controller...
Sarge: Or he can saddle you with the extra small controller made of some kind of plastic/paper hybrid, with four triggers and rhythm game attachments.
Church: But even in a situation where the controllers are the same and equally as good, you can still encounter some uncomfortable situations.
Sarge: The worst of the scenarios, is the dreaded inversion discovery.
Church: For instance let's just say you like your controllers to be the normal setting, where up is up and down is down.
Sarge: And why wouldn't you?
Church: Sarge, we're not here to pass judgment. But let's just say your friend, prefers an inverted controller scheme, where down is up, and up is down.
Sarge: What is with some people?
Church: Sarge... Now, discovering that your friend prefers the opposite controller scheme, can be one of the strongest tests of any friendship.
Sarge: It may cause you to question everything you know about the person. How could they think in this backward manner? Are they retarded? Do I know anything about them at all? Are they retarded?
Church: The important thing, is to not react too quickly. ...This is no good for anyone.
Sarge: Try to take some time, and contemplate what you've learned about your friend, and yourself. Maybe the way you've looked at the world has been wrong all this time.
Church: Who knows, maybe you'll find that a inverted controller just makes sense. I mean, that's how planes work, right?
Sarge: Most games aren't flying games though. What about driving games?
Church: Driving games don't have an up and down.
Sarge: Yeah, but they could.
Church: Then they would be flying games!
Sarge: What about FPSes? You don't look up in real life to look down.
Church: You don't use a controller in real life!
Sarge: Shut up Blue.
Church: Oh hey Sarge? This is for you. Check it out buddy.
Sarge: Ah, flipping me off, huh? Why didn't you point your finger down? That would make more sense! Hah!
Church: Oh shut up.
- All of the images shown are of Rooster Teeth employees Kerry Shawcross and Brandon Farmahini.
- The screen shakes at the start of the video, referring to the fact that the Epsilon Unit is "dying."