|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate|| August 28, 2016 (sponsors)|
August 29, 2016 (RT users)
September 4, 2016 (public)
|Director(s)|| Allison Baker|
Get Bent is the seventeenth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 14. It aired on August 28th, 2016 for sponsors, August 29th, 2016 for Rooster Teeth site users, and September 4th, 2016 for the general public. It is the 299th episode overall.
- V.I.C. (Voice only)
While trapped inside the Epsilon Storage Unit, Church relived multiple iterations of his memories in an attempt to reunite his ex-girlfriend, Tex. Every iteration was different... but those differences weren't always intentional.
Vic: So, remember when everybody thought Church died and became a ghost? Right! Well, turns out he's actually an AI program. Spoiler alert! Anyway, he eventually transferred himself into a memory unit with the hope of reuniting with his ex-girlfriend Tex, who was also a computer person thing it turns out. Yeah, love's complicated like that I guess. Anyway, Church tried to relive his own memories over and over again, just hoping that one day, he could find Tex, and they'd be together, and live happily ever after. Only problem is, sometimes you don't exactly remember everything right. Second spoiler alert.
Cut to Epsilon appearing in Blood Gulch.
Tucker: Church? Hey, Church! Church?
Epsilon: Huh? Wha-?
Tucker: I said we could blow up the whole god-damned world with this thing!
Epsilon: What? Are you talking about Sheila?
Epsilon: The tank. I - Oh wait, right, that doesn't happen until later. Sorry.
Tucker: ...You named the tank Sheila?
Epsilon: I - uh, I - you know... Y-yeah. I mean... She just kinda looks like a Sheila to me, y'know. So, what were you saying?
Tucker: You know what? Forget what I said. We can definitely pick up chicks in this thing. Probably two or three chicks apiece!
Epsilon: Oh man, listen to you. What're you gonna do with two chicks?
Tucker: Church, it's like I always said. Women are like Voltron: the more you can hook up, the better it gets!
Epsilon: And what chicks are we going to pick up exactly?
Tucker: What are you, the rookie? We've got a whole base full of them right here in the canyon!
Epsilon: Yeah but tha- I'm sorry, what?
Caboose: (emerging from the base) Hey! Just wanted to let you know the General stopped by and picked up the flag! Also, I think she likes me!
Tucker: Yeah, okay, whatever, moron! (To Epsilon) Seriously dude, what's with this guy?
Epsilon: I, uh, I gotta go check about something.
Epsilon starts going down the canyon towards the Red Base.
Epsilon: Alright, don't panic, just think. You're reliving your memories, you're here to find Tex. As long as you didn't misremember anything, should be good. Tucker's fine, Caboose is... the way he is. Canyon seems intact. Which means the only thing I could have possibly gotten wrong is...
Female voice: Freeze, dirtbag!
Epsilon: Well, shit.
Epsilon turns around to face a female version of Sarge.
Epsilon: Oh, dear God in Heaven, no.
Sarge: Stow it, Blue. Thought you could sneak up on our base, did you? Well, you gotta get up pretty early in the morning to pull one over the Red Team, and sunshine, it looks like you overslept.
Epsilon: SARGE?! ...Is that you?!
Sarge: Yes. I can surmise that being swiftly outmaneuvered by your enemy must be...
Epsilon: Oh... this is so wrong! This is so fucking wrong!
Sarge: Hey, do not interrupt me while I'm berating you! Now hurry up and come with me!
Sarge: You're my prisoner, blue boy! Think I'm just gonna let an enemy combatant wander around out here without taking action?
Epsilon: Well, you know, never made a big deal about it before.
Sarge knocks out Epsilon. Cut to inside a different facility.
Epsilon: Ugh... Please tell me that was the world's worst fever dream.
Simmons (who is also female): The prisoner is awake, ma'am!
Epsilon: Ugh... I need mental bleach. Or just regular bleach. I don't want to live in this world...
Sarge: Thanks for the sit-rep, Private Simmons. How are upgrades on the defense work coming along?
Simmons: Almost finished, ma'am! Just waiting on Grif to calibrate the power couplings.
Epsilon: Where am I? What is with all that noise?
Sarge: Renovations to the base, of course! What did you think, we were just standing around all day over here, yammering about the mysteries of life? We've got a war to win, son, and I intend to -
Epsilon: This is Red base?! It's freaking huge!
Sarge whacks him.
Sarge: Simmons, if he interrupts me again, shoot him in the lap.
Simmons: Yes, ma'am!
Sarge: Yep, good ol' Blood Gulch Outpost number one! Seemed like it needed a something extra, is all. So we excavated new sublevels, set up perimeter defenses, added a state-of-the-art entertainment facility, planted an herb garden, installed a Jacuzzi...
Simmons: Don't forget about the new showerhead, ma'am.
Sarge: Good point, Simmons. That is a damn fine showerhead. With multiple pulse settings.
Epsilon: Where'd you find time to do all this? Where'd it come from?!
Sarge: Oh, not too long. When did we get started, Simmons?
Simmons: Uh... Last week, ma'am.
Sarge: Hmm. Seemed longer. As for the supplies, we just put in a requisition with Command.
Epsilon: Wait... You mean we could've... All we had to do was... We just had to ask?!
Grif (also female): Hey! What's with all the shouting? I'm trying to get some beauty rest up here!
Simmons: Yeah, like rest is gonna fix that face.
Epsilon: Oh, God. Just put a bullet in my head.
Sarge: Private Grif, you're supposed to be calibrating the power couplings!
Grif: I know, that's why I told Donut to do it once she got back with the headlight fluid. Delegation, bitch!
Donut (yep, female): I'm back. No headlight fluid, but I got a flag thing. It's in the... dining room...?
Simmons: The dining room?! Donut, don't you know anything about interior decorating?! That cerulean flag is going to clash with everything in this base!
Donut: Man, who cares about decorating? If it were up to me, I'd get down on my hands and knees and I'd tear up all the carpet in this base.
Everyone stares at her.
Donut: What's with the blue guy?
Epsilon: I just... I - I know what I should have expected from you, I was just not ready for it.
Tucker: (off-screen) Helloo, anyone home? Damn, this place is a lot bigger on the inside!
Sarge: Grif, apprehend those enemy combatants!
Grif: Uh... Freeze?
Caboose: Hi, Church!
Epsilon: Tucker? Caboose? The hell kind of rescue operation is this?!
Tucker: Man, I'm not here for you, I'm here for them!
Red Team and Epsilon: What?
Tucker: Hey baby, I've never been with a plus-size girl before, and I bet you've never hooked up in an armored military tank. How about we scratch a few things off our bucket list-
Grif shoots Tucker.
Tucker: OW! My lap!
Grif: "Plus-size" my fat ass! ...Oh, right.
Tucker: Bow chicka ow owww...
Sarge: Excellent work, Private Grif! We may make a respectable soldier out of you yet.
Simmons: Well, Sarge, it looks as though we've successfully captured the entire Blue Army.
Sarge: Indeed is does, Simmons. Radio Command immediately, and inform them of the good news.
Simmons: Yes, ma'am! And might I compliment you on your decisive victory?
Sarge: You might.
Cut to the Blue soldiers held captive.
Caboose: So... What happens to us?
Sarge: Good question, dirtbag. Ladies, let us discuss the terms of the Blue Army's surrender. (Turns towards Lopez) Lopez. (Slowly) Lopez. Keep an eye on them.
Lopez (also female): Sí señorita.
Epsilon: This cannot possibly get-
Loud explosion. Lopez shoots around. Tex shows up behind her and assassinates her.
Epsilon: Tex?! Tex! Oh my God, Tex! You're here!
Tex: (male voice) Well, this seems to be where all the action is.
Epsilon: I - uh, Tex, what's up with your voice filter?
Tex: ...What voice filter?
Epsilon: Uh... Let me think about this for a second... (beat) Yeah, I'm cool with it, but I'm out.
Cut to black, back to the initial scene.
Tucker: Hey, Church? Chuuuuuuurch! Church?
Epsilon: Huh? What?
Tucker: I was saying, how about you and me go for a ride in this tank? I can show you the cannon.
Epsilon: (Church's normal voice overlaps with a feminine-sounding voice) Tucker, what the fuck is wrong with... What the fuck is (female voice) wrong with...
Camera pans back, revealing that Epsilon misremembered his own gender as female.
Epsilon: Oh, come on!
- The title of this episode refers to the concept of "gender-bent" characters, which are versions of characters that are the opposite of their usual genders. (According to Rule 63 of the Internet, "For every given male character, there is a female version of that character, and vice versa.")
- This episode, like Room Zero, is another iteration Epsilon undergoes while inside the Capture unit.
- Ashley Jenkins provides the voices for female iterations of both Epsilon and Lopez, as Burnie Burns does for the original male characters.
- Lindsay Jones, the voice actor for the female iteration of Simmons in this episode, also voices Vanessa Kimball.
- Matt Hullum was credited as Sarge in the end credits despite only the female version of Sarge appearing in the episode. This was fixed when it aired for the general public. Female Sarge is voiced by Anna Hullum (Matt's wife).
- The writer for the episode, Chris Roberson, is also the creator and writer of the comic book series iZombie. Rahul Kohli, who briefly voices Male Tex in this episode, stars in the live-action television adaptation of the comics.
- Female Grif is voiced by Amber Benson, and Female Donut is voiced by Maggie Tominey.
- Tucker carries his Energy Sword on his hip in this episode, despite the fact he never attained the weapon due to the Epsilon-recreated Blood Gulch being set prior to Season 3.
- This episode re-uses dialogue from The Rookies and Head Noob in Charge.
- Epsilon stating that he's "cool" with Tex being male may be a reference to Human Peer Bonding, where the original Church sarcastically tells Caboose he's a gay robot.
- Donut's remark on how she wants to "tear up all the carpet in this base" is an innuendo (as usual), implying she wants to have sex with all the women in the base.