|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||July 3, 2013|
- Announcer Voice
Prepare for the Halo Global Championship, kicking off this summer at RTX 2013!
Washington: Hello. I'm Agent Washington from the popular web series, Red vs. Blue.
Sarge: And I'm Sarge, from the same show.
Washington: Sarge, it's safe to say you're a competitive man, is it not?
Sarge: Some would go as far to say that I'm the best at being competitive. I know I would.
Washington: And what's your take on large cash prizes?
Sarge: If I had a large cash prize for every time I wished I had a large cash prize, I'd be irresponsibly wealthy.
Washington: Well then, you're in luck. Because 343 Industries is kicking off--
Announcer Voice: HALO 4 GLOBAL CHAMPIONSHIP! (makes guitar sounds; explosions in background sound)
Sarge: . . . What's that?
Washington: It's a Halo 4 tournament running from July to August.
Sarge: Wait, seriously?
Sarge: Uh-huh. Well, that's, uh, very interesting there, Agent Washington. Why don't you go ahead and, uh, continue to inform the public on this subject, and I'll, uh, . . . (walks off-screen) be right back.
Washington: Well, the competition will kick off in Austin, Texas at the Rooster Teeth Expo.
Sarge: (off-screen) Please, do go on!
Washington: Um, okay. For those who can't make it to RTX, there is an online qualifier. Just sign into Halo 4, pick the tournament's custom matchmaking playlist, and destroy the competition. There will be new finalists and new gametypes each week.
Sarge: (off-screen) That's fascinating!
Washington: Okay, what on earth are you doing?!
Cut to Red Base, with Sarge standing on top of the base, making Grif and Simmons perform on an obstacle course he has set up.
Sarge: Training, obviously. Dur. (fires his shotgun) That cash prize is going to Red Team.
Grif: (panting) Simmons, I can't go on.
Simmons: (also panting) You get the hell out of my way. I want to live.
Sarge throws a grenade down at Grif and Simmons.
Grif: (still panting) Who's the jerk that decided to put in the Sprint button?
Cut to Wash.
Washington: Sarge, it's a free-for-all competition.
Cut to Sarge:
Sarge: (sounding confused while lowering his shotgun) A what's-a-huega?
Washington: There are no teams.
Sarge: No teams?
Grif and Simmons take aim at Sarge.
Simmons: Hey, Grif. How do you feel about large cash prizes?
Grif: It's every man for himself! (grabs Simmons in a headlock and incapacitates him)
Simmons: Oh, son of a bitch!
Sarge: (raises his shotgun) Stand down, Private! (starts firing again) That money is MINE!
Caboose arrives in the tank. Sounds of combat off-screen.
Washington: Lemme guess. You wanna win too?
Caboose: (sounding very confused) Win what in who's now? (proceeds to roll toward Red Base)
Sarge: (off-screen) What in blue blazes? Incoming enemy forces! (tank shots can now be heard)
Zoom in on Wash.
Washington: Well, practice makes perfect. (readies his rifle and begins firing)
Grif: (sounding scared) Look out!
Wash runs into the melee. Continued sounds of combat after screen fades
- This marks the first time Washington has a major appearance in a PSA (he had a cameo in You Had Me at Halo).
- Grif references the fact that in Halo 4, sprint is no longer an armor ability.
- Grif and Simmons are both armed with DMRs instead of their usual Battle Rifles.