|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|"MIA: Episode 2"|
|Airdate||November 19, 2011|
Simmons steps out of Red Base and discovers a ransom note at the base's entrance. Sarge goes to the letter and stares at it for a moment. Simmons asks if him he's going to read it but Sarge says ransom notes are all the same and decides to skip the process and cut out the middle man. Simmons decides to read it, but Sarge gives in and reads it instead. After reading, Sarge suggests they shouldn't do anything, with Simmons making a sarcastic remark about Sarge never leaving them on the battlefield. Sarge explains to Simmons that he would never leave him due to the fact that he has the keys to the Warthog. Sarge then decides not to call the authorities, due to the letter saying they are being watched. Sarge and Simmons both decide to call Command for help.
At Blue Base, Tucker is seen standing on a hill watching Caboose move the boxes. Church walks towards him and asks what he's doing, correctly predicting him avoiding Caboose. Tucker explains to Church that he is doing reconnaissance. Church asks Tucker what he's "reconnaissinced" and Tucker says not much. Tucker then points out the lack of action at Red Base saying it has been quiet. Church eventually gets Tucker to say it's quiet... too quiet. Church decides to head back to base in order to figure out a plan. However, Caboose walks out of the base and moans for help. As a result, Church decides to stay up on the hill, causing Caboose to continue yelling.
Sarge is seen standing outside Red Base. Simmons runs out to tell Sarge about the mysterious letter taped to the wall.
Simmons: Oh, hey Sarge. Did you see this piece of paper on the wall?
Sarge: What is it?
Simmons: It's a letter. It might be a ransom note.
Sarge: How can you tell?
Simmons: Well, it's made up of a bunch of cut out letters from newspapers. Pretty uninspired design, now that I think about it. Kind of predictable really.
Sarge: Some people have no flare for presentation.
Simmons: I think Grif has been kidnapped.
Sarge: Kidnapped? Who would kidnap Grif?
Simmons: Someone with a really strong back I guess.
Sarge: Let me see that letter.
Sarge walks over to the letter.
Simmons: Here ya' go.
Sarge stares blankly at the letter.
Simmons: Umm... aren't you going to read it?
Sarge faces Simmons.
Sarge: Do what now?
Simmons: The letter. Arn't you going to read it?
Sarge: Oh, you know how these ransom letters go, Simmons. They have Grif, they want us to do something and we have to get Grif back, Grif annoys me at some point in the future and I choke him to death! I say we just skip the whole process. Cut out the middleman.
Simmons: Who exactly is the middleman in this? Is it us, or the kidnappers?
Sarge: Exactly. We can't give in to terrorists, Simmons. Especially when those terrorists are working for a short period of time in a matter that benefits us! Now is a time when we need to turn a blind eye to terrorism, in this particular case.
Simmons: That seems like a bad long-term strategy, sir.
Sarge: Only time will tell, Simmons.
Simmons: Is it okay if I read the letter?
Sarge: Fine. I'll read it.
Sarge faces the letter.
Sarge: Ahem. Dear Red Team, we have Private Grif and are not giving him back. Stop. We will kill him. Stop. Unless you meet our demands. Stop. Demands will be sent later. Stop.
Simmons: Was the letter a telegram?
Sarge: Don't think so.
Simmons: Then what was will all the stops?
Sarge: Oh, those were just all the places where the letter would have been better if it ended. "We have Grif." Stop! "We will kill him." Stop! "Unless you meet our demands." No! Stop it!
Simmons: You really are a great leader, Sarge. It's comforting to know you will never leave us behind on the battlefield.
Sarge: Simmons! I could never leave you behind.
Simmons: Really? Thank you, sir.
Sarge: You carry the keys to the jeep! Couldn't get too far without those. Hehe.
Simmons: (disappointed) Thank you, sir.
Sarge: It also says here that we're being watched, we should make no attempt to contact the authorities.
Simmons: The authorities?! We're the military! Arn't we the authorities?! Man, this letter gets more disrespectful by the second.
Sarge: They probably mean not to contact someone higher up...we'd better call Command to see what they have to say about that.
Simmons: Great idea, sir!
Cut to Tucker looking down at Caboose pushing the crates back inside. Church walks up to him.
Church: Hey Tucker, what are you doing up here?
Tucker: Ah, just checking things out.
Church: Oh yeah? You're avoiding helping Caboose move those boxes back into the Base?
Tucker: Maybe. Why are you up here checking on me?
Church: Same reason.
Tucker: No, I'm just doing that thing where you look around and gather information. What's it called? What's the word?
Church: You mean scouting?
Tucker: No. No. Not "scouting" it sounds way cooler than that.
Church: Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, no. I, no. I know what you mean, it's umm... uhh... what do you call it? Uhh... reconnaissance.
Tucker: Yeah, that's it. I'm reconnaissancing up here. Reconnaissancing all over this bitch.
Church: So, what have you reconnaissanced?
Tucker: Not much.
Church: Well, keep up the good work, I'll just umm... I'm just gonna' stay here and supervise you.
Tucker: Hey, dose Red Base seem a little quiet to you today?
Church: Quiet in what way? Quiet in the sense that we can't hear them bickering at each other from halfway across the canyon?
Tucker: Yeah. Quiet.
Church: Would you say it's...quiet, too quiet?
Tucker: No, I wouldn't say that because that would be lame. I try not to say lame things, just on the off chance that there's a girl nearby.
Church: Say it.
Church: Say it.
Tucker: Uhh, dang it. It's quiet, too quiet.
Church: Diabolical! Those Reds are up to something Tucker! Come on, let's fall back to base! We need to figure out a plan!
Caboose: Why isn't anyone helping me?!
Church: Actually, you know what? Let's hang out... up here... for a little while longer.
Caboose: Ah! Hey! Are you guys doing that word for the scouting thing that I can't pronounce again?!