|Red vs. Blue Episode|
The Reds and Blues pick their new teams and explore the new bases and equipment (Valhalla). The Reds discover new motorbikes while Donut has fun with the "man cannon". The Blues discover several weapon enhancements. Doc has fun with a missile launcher, ignoring his pacifism, while Caboose traps himself inside Domed Energy Shield. Later a new rookie on the Blue Team arrives at Red Base to find some "headlight fluid". The video closes with Sarge giving him a bomb, which apparently explodes and kills him off screen.
Fade in to an overview of Valhalla with Sarge and Church talking to their teams.
Sarge: Well men, as you know we've been given these two brand new bases to defend from the evil forces of-of ah-well to defend from each other.
Church: And since we have brand new bases, and new weapons and new everything else, we though now would be a good time to pick new teams.
Grif: (confused) New teams?
Sarge: That's right! New base, new teams. A fresh start! And since the red team won the last match, the blues have agreed to let us pick first.
Church: Whoa whoa whoa! What? Won the last match? I don't think so.
Sarge: Well since red participated in the last match in a higher level of-
Sarge: Fewer injuries?
Sarge: Fewer team kills?
Sarge: How about a coin flip?
Church: No, the blues should go first. Blue comes first alphabetically.
Sarge: Yes but red is only three letters. So it's in an entirely alphabetical list which comes before the list that-
Sarge: (grunts) Lets take a vote. Anyone who thinks that reds should go first say Aye.
Donut and Simmons: Aye!
Grif: Aye...Don't care.
Church: Who are you going to pick first?
Church: Alright fine. Go ahead.
Sarge: I pick Simmons!
Simmons: (excited) Yes! I was picked first! I've never been first!
Simmons walks next to Sarge.
Sarge: Your still second in command.
Simmons: Second in command that was picked first. That's like a promotion.
Sarge: It's not a promotion!
Simmons: First-second in command. I like the sound of that.
Sarge: Stop it! Nobody gets new titles!
Church: I pick, Doc.
Doc: Good choice! First aids skills can be a vital audition to any-
Church: Actually I took a look at your permanent record. You have more kills than any other person here.
Doc: Hey! The medical board cleared me of those! Most of them.
Doc runs next to Church.
Sarge: Let's see red team piiiicks, we're gonna piiick, it's gonna pick right here, just gonna choose right now, not gonna think about it any longer just going to do it gonna piiick-
Grif: Okay cut it out, seriously. Come on. Just pick me.
Sarge: (quickly) We pick Donut.
Donut: (excited) Yes!
Grif: (surprised) What!? Donut? Come on!
Sarge: Never underestimate the spirit inducing power of a good cheer leader.
Sister: (excited) Woo hoo!
Sarge: I think this round has a theme. (chuckles)
Sister: Wow, I got picked before you Grif. This is just like little league.
Sister walks next to Church.
Sister: Suck it losers.
Church: All right, your turn.
Caboose: This is fun.
Grif: Oh shut up.
Sarge: Well after careful deliberation, red team has made it's choice. We choose-pass.
Simmons: We pass.
Church: You can't pass!
Sarge: We just did. Pass, see? Your turn blue.
Church: Umm Pass.
Cut to black saying "later".
Cut to black saying "two hours after that..."
Church: (sighs) pass.
Sarge: I gonna go with private pass.
Church: Maybe we can just give them their own teams.
Sarge: Nonsense. There's only two bases.
Grif: Yeah give me my own team. That way I can be in charge. Just think of it Sarge, we could be equals!
Sarge: (quickly) We choose Grif!
Simmons: (disappointed) Aw man.
Grif: Wow picked last again, fantastic.
Church looks to see Caboose standing by himself.
Church: Can I still pass.
Caboose: I knew you liked me.
Caboose walks next to Church.
Sarge: Alright. Now that we have our brand new teams, we'll head off to our bases and fighting will commence at 0'800.
Church: Sounds good.
Caboose: Eight hundred o' clock? That seems like a very long time from now.
Cut to Simmons and Sarge in front of Red base.
Sarge: Alright men, welcome to your new base.
Simmons: Cool it's tall. Hey since I'm first/second in command now, do i get to sleep in the officers quarters.
Sarge: No. And I told you already, no new titles. Now where's Donut?
Grif: Ever since he heard about the man cannon, we can't get him off that thing.
Cut to Donut being launched from the grav lift.
Donut: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Uhg! Ho ho that was freaking awesome! I haven't been on a man cannon since collage!
Cut back to Sarge.
Sarge: Well get him back here. We need to start scouting for weapons and equipment. Who knows what the Blues might have found already.
Cut to Blue base with Church, Caboose and Doc with Doc holding a LAU-65D.
Doc: Ho ho, look what I found. (shoots missile) Guys check this out.
Church: Whoa, that things enormous!
Doc: I know check this out! It shoots missiles.
Church: Yeah that's great but aren't you a pacifist?
Doc: Huh? Wha- yeah whatever. Hey did you see the part where it shoots missiles? (shoots missile) Phew! Yeah!
Caboose: Look. I found something.
Caboose activates an energy shield.
Church: That's cool. It's some kind of dome shield. That could come in handy.
Church: I said good job!
Caboose: Yeah I can't hear you in here.
Caboose: Also, I can't turn this off.
Church: Yeah lets just leave him in there for a little while.
Doc: But what if he runs out of air?
Church: That's the kind of thing we should know about don't you think?
Cut to the Reds with Sarge standing in front of two Mongooses.
Sarge: Okay, it seems as though we have a new kind of all-terrain vehicle. She's light, quick, and resilient. All the things that Grif isn't. It's called the Mongoose.
Grif: Mongoose? It looks more like a-
Sarge: Oh do not get started on that again. Alright men saddle up. Time to organize our attack.
Sarge gets on the Mongoose.
Simmons: I though we said no attacking till 0'800? That's an hour away.
Sarge: Yes but today is daylight savings time. Those idiot blue forgot all about it. (chuckles)
Simmons: Aren't we suppose to set the clocks back this time of year?
Sarge: Nonsense Simmons. It's spring ahead, fall even further ahead.That's the red army way, always advancing.
Donut: So that's why we eat breakfast at 5pm.
Simmons gets on the back of Sarges Mongoose and Donut gets on his.
Sarge: Simmons hop on. Donut, you and Grif follow us.
Donut: (excited) Come on Grif get on. Don't be shy.
Grif: (annoyed) Oh god.
Grif gets on.
Donut: Are you all strapped in?
Grif: I'm fine, just go.
Donut: What's wrong?
Grif: Nothing Just drive. God.
Donut: If you want, there's another handle up here. You could just do the old reach around and-
Grif: Please just move!
A blue soldier walks up to the Reds.
Blue soldier: Hello there. Excuse me.
Sarge: (confused) What? Who are you?
Blue soldier: Um, I'm the new guy on the blue team. They sent me over here, uh said you might have some headlight fluid or elbow grease?
Sarge: Oh they did, did they? Well I have just what your looking for right here.
Sarge walks over to a bomb next leaning on a rock as the screen fades to black.
Blue soldier: Cool thanks.
Sarge: No problemo. Oops I forgot to arm it-er-uh I mean activate it. (spark noises)
- Despite being on the Blue Team, Tucker makes no appearance in this special.
- The character models used in this video feature visible battle damage, due to the Spartan model used in the Halo 3 beta being the same model used to represent Master Chief in the game's Campaign mode as opposed to the multiplayer model used in the game's final release.