|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||June 9, 2009|
Red vs. Blue: Recreation's trailer was released June 9, 2009. It takes place three days after the final part of Red vs. Blue: Relocated. Due to it being canon, it's considered the 134th episode overall.
Blue Team Edit
The trailer begins with Simmons spying on Caboose's mysterious antics, with Caboose blowing up his own barricade and igniting himself on fire. Simmons reports back, but Sarge and Grif are bickering on the other end. As Simmons returns to the Red Team he informs them of their advantage over Caboose. However, Grif corrects him saying that they can't include the unconscious/comatose Donut, and begins to argue with Simmons.
Meanwhile Church, in a solid white form, is revealed to be watching the Reds from afar, lamenting about being dead. After walking over to Blue base Tex appears at Church's side, asking, "What are you gonna do about it, Church?" As they watch Caboose run around on fire, Church continues to lament and tells Tex that they "aren't done", to which she replies that they should "get started". Church semi-sarcastically thanks her for her input, and she insists that he is to blame.
Opening Credits: Outpost 17-B: “Valhalla” Post-War: Year 1.25
Caboose: Oh, no, no, don’t.
An explosion rings out
Caboose: Ahhhh... crap.
Simmons: Hum. I need to tell Sarge about this.
Radio cuts on. Simmons begins to run to Red Base while the following conversation plays out.
Simmons: Sarge, come in. Ths is Simmons.
Sarge: (over radio) Grif, I do not want to discuss this anymore. You need to shower on a regular basis. It’s regulation.
Simmons: Sarge, hey! Sarge!
Grif: (over radio) Why? Our suits are ventilated, they push out the stink.
Simmons: Grif, hello... God damn it!
Sarge: (over radio) You’re just gonna give away our position with those green wavy lines coming off you.
Grif: (over radio) OK, I’ll shower... occasionally.
Sarge: (over radio) Every day.
Grif: (over radio) Every day?! How can I tell how long a day is? The sun never sets around here. Why the hell doesn’t the sun set? Shouldn’t we be talking about that first?
Simmons arrives at Red Base
Sarge: Simmons, how’d the latest reconnaissance mission go?
Simmons: Sarge, I have some really exciting news. I just think everyone is going to find this very, very exciting.
Sarge: Well, spit it out.
Simmons: The Blues... are completely undermanned right now.
Sarge: What do you mean by “undermanned”?
Grif: What do you mean by exciting?
Simmons: It looks like they have received no reinforcements after the last mission. I need to double check my numbers, but if it’s just Caboose over there, that means we have a four-man advantage.
Grif: Ooo... What part do you need to double check? Is it the part where you counted their guys, or the part where you counted our guys? ‘Cause they both sound really tough.
Simmons: Shut up, Grif, no one’s talking to you.
Sarge: Hmm... This could be strategically advantageous.
Grif: Or maybe it was the part where you subtracted one from five. Math can be hard. Hey, Lopez!
Grif: Fire up your calculator unit, we got a doozy!
Sarge: He can’t do that. I had to remove that application in order to install a new free app I downloaded. It’s a program that could be vital to the morale here at our new base.
Lopez: Hace ruidos de pedos. [It makes fart noises.]
Sarge: Heh heh, I don’t want to spoil it for you boys, but let's just say it is hi-larious!
Lopez: Solo digamos que usted es un idiota. [Let’s just say you’re an idiot.]
Grif: Actually, you do need to recount. We don’t have five guys; we only have four.
Simmons: We got Donut back.
Grif: You can't count Donut.
Simmons: Why not? He’s unconscious right now, but when he wakes up...
Grif: Unconscious? He’s been out for three days. I think it’s okay to upgrade him to comatose.
Simmons: Well, I think we should count everyone. I’m an equal opportunity counter.
Grif: Yeah, because I’d hate to go into battle without Donut.
Simmons: I mean, hell, if I’m counting you as a soldier, I should count the vehicles, some of the bigger rocks we have laying around here, fuck it let’s give the trash can a gun.
Grif: At least I can subtract five and one without double-checking.
In distance, Church appears holding a sniper, overlooking the Reds
Simmons: (offscreen) Oh, can you?
Church: Oh, great. I’m sure this will all end well. I just can’t believe that those idiots are responsible for my death. Twice! It’s embarrassing is what it is.
At Blue Base, flames are seen from the inside
Caboose: Oh no, fire, that’s bad. Bad fire! Bad fire, go away!
Back with Church
Church: I mean if I was killed by an alien or a monster, or you know some kind of sorority blowjob massacre, that I could handle.
Caboose: Please stop burning. Nothing else burn.
Church: And look at this: this is my legacy. I mean, what did I do with my life to deserve this?
Caboose: I mean it.
Tex appears behind Church
Church: Uhh, this is… it’s all gone so wrong.
Tex: Well, what are you gonna do about it, Church?
Church: Do? What can I do, Tex? I’m dead. I’m gone.
Tex: Oh, come on, Church. They say you’re never completely dead if someone still remembers you.
Church: Y-Y-yeah. But look who’s left to remember me. Him?
Caboose runs out of base, on fire
Caboose: Oh God, now I’m burning! That’s much worse than other things burning!
Church: Sure feels like being dead. Like all the way dead. Like somebody encased me in cement and then fired me into the sun dead.
Caboose: Oh god, why does it keep chasing me?
Caboose falls into the river. The fire is extinguished.
Caboose: Ahh... that’s nice.
Church: It’s just a long way back for us.
Tex: Okay. So then we’re done?
Caboose: Okay, let’s try that again. But with less fire on me this time.
Church: No, no we’re not done.
Camera pans to the sky
Tex: Well, if we’re not done, let’s get started.
Church: Hey have I ever told you how helpful you are to me? I mean you’re so full of fucking wisdom, what would I do without you?
Title Screens: Red vs. Blue: Recreation
Tex: Mm. I try my best. And you have no one to blame but yourself.
- Burnie Burns confirmed in an interview with Lets Figure This Out Shizno group that the Church and Tex in the Recreation Trailer are more metaphoric than actual characters.