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Red vs. Blue Episode
"Shellheads"
Turn of your Cell Phones Dirtbags! - S8
Episode no. Unknown
Airdate Unknown
Running time 1:45

Red vs. Blue Revelation
April 1, 2010 - September 13, 2010

  1. For Those of You Just Joining Us
  2. Drink Your Ovaltine
  3. Upon Further Review
  4. Recovering One
  5. Fourth and Twenty
  6. Towing Package
  7. And Don't Call Me Shirley
  8. Perusing the Archive
  9. Backup Plans
  10. This One Goes to Eleven
  11. Restraining Orders
  12. Snooze Button
  13. Battle of the Exes
  14. Reconfiguration
  15. Check Your Local Listings
  16. Standardized Testing
  17. Tenth Percentile
  18. Rally Cap
  19. Reunion
  20. n+1

Shellheads is a special episode of Red vs. Blue created for the pre-show reel before the screening of Iron Man 2 at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema.

Characters[]

Red Team[]

Plot[]

Simmons finds Grif and Sarge standing on the edge of a cliff. Grif explains that Sarge is practicing flying, inspired by the movie Iron Man 2. Grif reasons that like Iron Man, Sarge is wearing red power armor, and has painted the highlights golden to further match Iron Man's suit, so he should be able to fly. Simmons points out that Sarge is missing a critical component: jet boots.

Regardless, Sarge runs off the cliff. Grif insists that Sarge will momentarily fly back up, but Simmons goes to fill out a "new sergeant requisition form", as the scene fades to black. A few seconds later, Sarge flies up on jet boots, tells the audience to turn off their cell phones, then flies away.

Transcript[]

Grif and Sarge stand at the edge of a cliff.

Grif: Don't be nervous, Sarge. There's no reason to be nervous unless you're nervous. Are you nervous?

Sarge: Only because you keep saying the word "nervous."

Simmons approaches from Grif's right.

Simmons: Hey guys. What the heck are you doing out here by the cliff?

Grif: Nothin'. We're just practicing.

Simmons: Practicing what?

Grif: Flying.

Simmons: Oh, okay. Have fun!

Simmons goes to leave, then comes back.

Simmons: Wait, what!?

Sarge: We're flying.

Grif: No, Sarge, not "we," "you." You are flying.

Sarge: Right. I'm flying!

Simmons: Okay, I'll bite. Why?

Grif: Iron Man 2.

Simmons: Iron Man 2?

Grif: Iron Man 2.

Simmons: What does that have to do with flying?

Grif: Iron Man 2!

Simmons: Stop saying that! You're just saying "Iron Man 2!" That doesn't mean anything!

Grif: Simmons, look at us. What's the difference between us and Iron Man?

Simmons: What category? Money? Intelligence? Good looks?

Grif: Overall.

Simmons: Oh, overall? All of those things.

Grif: Iron Man can fly, right? Why can't we fly? I mean, we have all the same stuff he has. Power armor?

Sarge: Check!

Grif: Red power armor?

Sarge: Check!

Grif: Gold accents on the aforementioned power armor?

Sarge: Thanks to some freshly applied spray paint, check!

Simmons: Do you have jet boots?

Grif: Three out of four. That's not bad.

Simmons: That's not three out of four, that's zero out of one!

Grif: See, the wheels are already in motion. Can't stop now!

Simmons: That's a reason to kill our Sergeant.

Grif: That's the spirit! Okay, Sarge, let's do this thing! Just count to three, and then woosh! Off you go!

Sarge: You mean "one, two, woosh," or "three, and then woosh?"

Grif: Whatever works best for you, buddy.

Sarge: Here we go! One! Two! Three!

Sarge walks off the cliff.

Sarge: Woooooooooooosh!

Grif: Okay! Now, he zooms back up, and... and... now!

Screen fades to "New Alamo Drafhouse Cinema" title.

Grif: Wait for it.

Simmons: I'll go fill out the "New Sergeant Requisition Form."

Sarge flies back into the shot.

Sarge: Now turn off your cell phones, dirtbags!

Sarge cocks his shotgun and flies off.

Sarge: Woosh!

Trivia[]

  • On the Revelation DVD, this special episode is entitled "Iron Sarge".

Video[]

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