|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|"The Last Episode Ever"|
The Last Episode Ever is an April Fool's episode that takes place after Episode 28.
After Sarge and Simmon's attack failed by Lopez, they were assumed dead by Grif and Donut. Sarge was found alive and Grif was confused because he tied him up and poured concrete over his grave in case he turned into "a zombie" Later Simmon's ghost appears with a warning but was actually a hologram by Caboose with O'Malley's personality taking over saying "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids." Doc showed up with Tucker wearing a wedding dress saying that they were getting married and running away. Tucker added that nothing can stop them including Lopez. Everyone ended up screaming and the scene faded away as Church said, "It was all a dream, a dreamiemiemiemie. Suddenly Lopez shows up saying if it was.
Grif and Donut are looking at the tombstones of Sarge and Simmons
Grif: (crying) I can't believe they're gone. I'm just so happy.
Donut: God why, why? Why did toy have to bury them in their beautiful, shiny, red, armor.
Sarge: (entering from the right) What in Sam Hell are you two Barbies cryin' about?
Grif: What the?
Donut: Sarge, you're alive? We thought you were dead!
Sarge: Nonsense, pinky-pants. I was merely napping.
Grif: But how the hell did you get outta there? I tied you up and poured concrete over the grave! Just in case you turned in to a zombie.
Sarge: Yes, but you made one crucial mistake. You left me my spoon.
Sarge: That's right! I ate my way out. The soft earth was like a delicious butterscotch brownie to me.
A translucent Simmons materializes behind the tombstones. Cue the ominous "back from the dead" music
Simmons: (spooky voice) Griiiif... Donuuut... It's me, the ghost of Simmons., Iiii've come baaack with a waaarniiing...
The ghost of Simmons is shot many times and falls over dead... well, you know what I mean
Simmons: Huerk? Bleah.
Donut lowers his gun
Grif: What the hell! You just killed Simmons' ghost!
Donut: Wrong. That wasn't Simmons, it was old man Caboose.
Caboose: That's right. It's me, Caboose!
O'Malley: And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids.
Tucker and Doc are revealed in the background... Doc's wearing a dress
Doc: Everyone, I have something to say. Tucker and I, are in love, and we're leaving!
Tucker: That's right. We're getting married, and there's not a damn thing any of you can do about it. Not even you, French speaking Lopez.
Lopez: Gent trahison, Monsieur Tucker, vous m'avez promis votre amour. [Mister Tucker, you promised your love to me.]
Zooms in on the tombstones. They say: "Sarge ?-2004 He was mean and may have once drowned a snake or something" and "Simmons ?-2004 He still owes me 20 bucks and it's not like I'll just forget. What a cockbite."
Lopez: Mon dieu! Ceci est folie!!![Mon dieu! Ceci est folie!!!]
Screen fades to Church standing in the base
Church: Huh? Oh, thank God. It was all a dream. All a dream. All a dreamiemiemiemie.
Lopez: Oui, c'était un rêve horrible...[Yes, it was a horrible dream...]
Fades to black
Lopez: OU ÉTAIT LUI?!?[OR WAS IT?!?]