|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate|| September 25, 2016 (sponsors)|
September 26, 2016 (RT users)
October 2, 2016 (public)
The Triplets is the twenty-first episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 14. It aired on September 25th, 2016 for sponsors, September 26th, 2016 for Rooster Teeth site users, and October 2nd, 2016 for the general public. It is the 302nd episode overall.
- South Dakota
- North Dakota
- Counselor (Voice only)
- Four Seven Niner (Voice only)
- V.I.C. (Voice only)
Vic: Project Freelancer, a military splinter organization designed with one goal and one goal only: create the greatest soldiers the galaxy has ever seen. But, if you really wanna find who's the best, well that means you gotta sort through the worst...
"The Triplets" title credit appears.
Ohio: (sighs) Oh yeah, oh yeah, Project Freelancer. You made it baby, you made it. You are finally with the best. You are finally with the best of the best– You are the best; you're the best around. Oh yeah baby, you are the best around, nothing's ever gonna bring you down.
Iowa: HI OHIO!
Ohio: Ah! Jesus Christ Iowa! You don't have to yell!
Iowa: SOMETIMES I FORGET– oh, uh, sometimes I forget how to talk with these helmets on.
Ohio: You just talk, you don't have to do anything different.
Idaho walks up.
Idaho: Come on, lay off, Ohio. You know he hasn't been the same since the training incident.
Iowa: It wasn't a big deal.
Idaho: Your suit stopped feeding you oxygen!
Iowa: I–I was fine...
Ohio: For twenty minutes?
Iowa: But I got the best record for holding my breath.
Ohio: Congratulations. You're real Freelancer material.
Idaho: Oh Iowa, I got a new one for ya!
Iowa: Tell me!
Idaho: Dungeons and Dragons; five things you don't want to make saving throws against. Go!
Iowa: Oooh, nice! Okay, um... poison.
Iowa: A fireball.
Iowa: A poison fireball!
Idaho: That's not a thing.
Iowa: It could be...
Idaho: Fine, I'll give it to you. Three.
Iowa: A-a Super Saiyan.
Idaho: (makes buzzer noise) Never gonna happen in my campaign.
Iowa: I'm just saying it's not something I would wanna make a saving throw against, because if Super Saiyan Goku comes up, that means I'm not playing with you anymore and that would make me sad.
Idaho: Aww, that's sweet. Point conceded! Four.
Iowa: An avalanche!
Ohio: Oh, will you guys just knock it off with "five things" for once?! See this, this, this is exactly why we never get mission assignments.
Idaho: Who crapped in your Cheerios this morning? You usually love that game.
Ohio: Pff... I do not "love that game"... (mutters) I just play it when I'm bored.
Iowa: Which is all the time.
Ohio: Because we never get mission assignments!
Iowa: You don't have to yell when you're wearing the helmet, Ohio.
Ohio: You know what? Bite me, corndog.
Idaho: Oh, I get it. This is because of the new rankings, isn't it?
Ohio: (strained noise) Probably... I don't know... yes... (sighs) I mean, I just thought... I just thought, you know, maybe this would be the time we wouldn't be dead last. You know, the time where we actually get to do something. I need an objective guys, a purpose! You know anything is better than sitting around this ship hoping we'll get noticed.
Idaho: We do things, we get noticed!
Iowa: Yeah, everyone was talking about me last week.
Ohio: That's because you demolished twelve Mongooses– wait, Mongeese? Mon... whatever! Twelve. In the last training session alone.
Montage of Mongooses being destroyed. The last six are destroyed all at once when Iowa sneezes next to them.
Iowa: I'm not a very strong driver!
Ohio, Idaho: Stop shouting!
Agents South Dakota, Georgia, Connecticut and Washington approach.
Idaho: Uh oh, single digits incoming...
Ohio: Oh my god... they are just too cool...
Camera focuses on C.T. and Wash.
Iowa: H-hey, look who's with 'em.
Idaho: Can you believe Wash and C.T. got called up to the top group?
Iowa: Do you think they'll still eat lunch with us?
Georgia: Well, well, well, if it isn't the triplets.
Idaho: Here we go...
Georgia: Yo what'd you say, Spudnik?
Ohio: Oh, ah, he was just saying that you guys are so great, Georgia.
Georgia: Oh yeah?
Ohio: Oh yeah, I mean you are like total role models for us and maybe if we work hard then maybe we'll get called up like David and Connie one da– I mean uh, Wash and C.T. (nervous chuckle) Yeah, yeah... (clears throat)
South: Sure. Good luck with that, kid.
South and Georgia snicker.
Iowa: Oh! Five meats that you think wouldn't be delicious, but are totally delicious. Go!
Ohio: (through clenched teeth) Iowa...
Idaho: Beef's tongue.
Ohio: Guys, stop being idiots!
South: What the hell are you guys doing?
Idaho: Pork cheek, th-the face, the face meat of the pig!
Ohio: No guys, shut up! You are embarrassing yourselves!
Idaho: No we're not.
Iowa: Yeah Ohio, we're totally cool– SPIDER! (shoots at the floor screaming) I got him.
South: Okay... uh, we're gonna go now...
Georgia: Yeah, some of us have actual missions to train for.
He and South walk away.
South: Have fun cleaning our gear when we're done, triplets.
Georgia: Christ, they were weird.
They round the corner and disappear from sight.
Ohio: Oh, my god, I am so mortified, you guys.
C.T.: Don't worry about it.
Iowa: Hey, how come those guys are always calling us the Triplets? We aren't related or anything.
C.T.: They can be kind of mean. They're just under a lot of... pressure. Try not to take it personally.
Ohio: But... you guys are fine, right? I mean, we're all okay, right...?
C.T.: (chuckles) Of course, we're friends.
Washington: Just... don't call me "David", okay? This unit takes that kind of stuff pretty seriously.
Idaho: You got it, boss.
C.T.: Wash, we should get going; we don't want to be late. (walks away)
Iowa: See ya at lunch?
Washington: Uh... yeah. Sure. (walks away)
Iowa: Well that went pretty well.
Idaho: Five things you'd wanna have for lunch!
Ohio: Guys, stop! Can't you be serious for once in your life? I mean you saw how they treated us. Even our friends.
Idaho: C.T.'s still got our backs. But... yeah... I see what you mean... pretty sure we lost Wash.
Iowa: Well, I still think that guy's pretty cool.
Ohio: Hmph. Cool... Come on. (walks away) They're not the only one with training ops. They want cool? We'll show them cool.
Cut to Wash and C.T.
Announcer: Training session begin in three...
Cut to South and Georgia elsewhere.
Announcer: ...two... one.
Alarm bell rings. The two Freelancer pairs move into action against each other, firing weapons. South and Georgia advance toward one end of a room, where Wash and C.T. are taking cover.
Cut to Ohio firing her weapon at Iowa, who yells incoherently while retreating, eventually falling down a staircase.
Iowa: Where was this thingy?
Wash fires at three traffic cones, knocking them over.
Idaho fires at three traffic cones, missing each time.
Ohio: This is so not cool.
Idaho: Could you not stand so close to me?!
Wash and C.T. exchange gunfire from cover at one end of a hallway.
Iowa drives a Mongoose into a wall and it explodes in flames.
Iowa: Oh man...
Time lapse. Ohio watches Wash and C.T. training in another room.
Iowa: Five things you'd rather be doing. Go!
Iowa, Idaho: One!
Ohio: Something else.
Iowa, Idaho: Two.
Ohio: Not this?
Iowa, Idaho: Three...
Ohio: Contemplating the futility of existence in a coffee shop?
Iowa, Idaho: Four...?
Idaho: Seems like your heart's not really in this, O...
Ohio: ...Your mom!
Iowa: Ooh, snap! That's our girl.
Time lapse. Ohio, Idaho, and Iowa walk down a hallway.
Ohio: Yay... it's assignment day. Iowa, for fuck's sake, why did you have to crash that Mongoose?
Iowa: I technically didn't have to, it was more like, why did the Mongoose wanna crash me into the wall.
Idaho: That's not how driving works!
Iowa: Apparently not!
Ohio: Oh, we are never gonna get noticed around here...
They enter a room and the doors shut behind them.
Counselor: Agents Ohio, Idaho, and Iowa. I'm... so glad we were able to find a time to talk to you in private. While the rest of the Freelancers are receiving their weekly duties, the Director has a... special assignment for you.
Idaho: (to Ohio) You were saying?
Ohio: For us? Really?
Counselor: We have received... intelligence about... suspicious activity on a strategic outpost, that warrants... further investigation. The Director believes your... particular skill sets are more suited to the mission.
Ohio: (giddily) A mission?
Iowa: We have skill sets!
Counselor: Yes, you most assuredly do.
Idaho: But we're not really good at, um... anything.
Counselor: As you may have noticed, you consistently rank towards the bottom of our regular assessment of the abilities of members of Project Freelancer.
Ohio: (mutters) No shit, Sherlock...
Counselor: But as you also know, most operations happen in teams of three or four. In this regard, you have shown... remarkable cohesion. In fact, in assessing your abilities to work as a group, you rank at the top of that metric.
Ohio: Oh my god... oh my god...! (gasps) I mean, thank you. Sir.
Counselor: We are... confident in your abilities. Now, please prepare your equipment. The dropship departs at 0900.
Ohio: (gasping squeal) Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!
Idaho: What is it, O?
Ohio: This is our big break! If we do this mission right, people will have to take us seriously! All we have to do is work as a team!
Idaho: Bu-but teams still have to do, you know, have people do individual things. Things that we're... not good at. As far as I can tell, we're just really good at being equally sucky.
Ohio: Do not shit on my parade, Idaho.
Iowa: Oh, wait wait wait, hold on a second...
Ohio, Idaho: What?
Iowa: I don't have to fly us there, do I?
Silence from the other two.
Black screen, dropship engine noises.
Four Seven Niner: Alright you three, this is our drop point! Good luck, okay?
Iowa: When do we call you to bring us back?
Four Seven Niner: Jump in three... two... one!
Iowa: We were really high up!
Ohio: I hate you guyyyys!
On screen: "TO BE CONCLUDED..."
- This episode marks the first time C.T. and Georgia are seen in a machinima game engine.
- Despite the episode taking place prior to Tex's escape, the Freelancers appear wearing their post-Blood Gulch Chronicles armor, with differing permutations and colors on their shoulders and helmets rather than their thighs and forearms. This is due to the episode being filmed in the Halo 3 engine.
- Ohio saying that she would rather be doing Idaho's mom may have been a hint that she is a lesbian, as confirmed in The "Mission".