|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|Airdate||June 18, 2012|
- North Dakota
- South Dakota
- Four Seven Niner
- Georgia (Mentioned Only)
- Meta (Mentioned Only)
The Reds and Blues stop at Zanzibar for a break. Carolina questions their actions, in which Grif complains that they need a break that includes "snack breaks, bathroom breaks and stopping to take pictures of funny road signs" much to Carolina's irritation. While Washington attempts to prevent Carolina from attacking Grif, Caboose suddenly realizes that Epsilon is nowhere to be found. Tucker calms him down by revealing that he has Epsilon implanted in his storage unit, much to Epsilon's disgust. Overlooking the two teams, Carolina, fed up with the Reds' and Blues' lack of competence, talks with Wash about their immense stupidity. Wash defends them by describing them as idiots with potential and finds that they're not as bad once one gets to know them. Wash adds that they almost defeated the Meta at their location, but Carolina growls that they nevertheless failed to do so, and walks off, leaving Wash to contemplate this.
Back at the scrapyard, the Freelancer team jetpacks back to the rendezvous, noticing that the Insurrection is nowhere to be found. The Director and Counselor, onboard the Mother of Invention, take note of this as well. Suddenly, an Insurrectionist destroyer, known as the Staff of Charon, appears out of the wreckage for an assault. Four Seven Niner warns the Mother of Invention and the two warships exchange fire. The Mother of Invention is outgunned, but the Staff of Charon breaks off the attack whilst dropping off a suspicious device. The Insurrectionist Leader decides to retreat, having left a "present" for Project Freelancer.
Four Seven Niner's sensors identify the object as a nuke, and she frantically orders the Freelancer team to get to extraction. While the Mother of Invention falls back, the team reaches the dropship, except for Washington, who is unwilling to burn out his jetpack, for fear of "ending up like Georgia". He is saved when an exasperated Carolina pulls him in with a grappling hook. The nuke detonates, but the team is safe from the blast. As the Freelancers regroup, the Director contacts Carolina for a status report. Both are disappointed by the failure of the mission, but when Carolina reports that all agents, aside from C.T. are accounted for, the Director asks her to define why she is missing, and is met with uneasy silence.
Camera pans over Last Resort/Zanzibar. The Reds and Blues are seen driving in Warthogs, while Carolina rides alongside on a Mongoose. The Reds stop and get out, causing everyone else to do the same.
WIND POWER FACILITY; PRESENT DAY
Carolina: What's going on? Why are we stopping?
Grif: We've been driving for hours.
Carolina: And we've got a lot more ground to cover, so let's keep moving.
Grif: Listen lady, I know this is your first road trip with us, but we've got a system. And that system includes snack breaks, bathroom breaks, and stopping to take pictures of funny road signs.
Carolina: That's ridiculous.
Grif: Not as ridiculous as Bonner Street.
Simmons: So close dude, so close.
Grif: It's out there Simmons, we just have to have faith that we'll find it.
Camera focuses on Blues
Wash: I should probably go stop her from killing your friend.
Wash proceeds in Carolina's direction
Caboose: Um, Tucker I just noticed something. Something really bad.
Tucker: Yeah, me too dude. I think our guy-to-girl ratio peaked like five years ago.
Caboose: Uh, no, no, Tucker um. Yeah, we forgot to bring Church.
Tucker: Wait, did you just now realize that Church isn't here?
Caboose: He's not going to be pleased about this one.
Tucker: Calm down moron, we didn't leave him behind.
Caboose: Ah, yes, but you see I'm not seeing him so...where is he?
Epsilon appears in a smaller form beside Tucker's helmet.
Epsilon: Ugh, you don't wanna know.
Caboose: Church! You're...you're so small. I would like to feed you a small cracker.
Tucker (sarcastically): How you liking the new place tinker bell?
Epsilon: You mean your disgusting storage unit?
Tucker: What! How is my storage unit "disgusting"?
Epsilon: Well, for starters, I had to delete fifty gigs worth of crap just so I could fit in this thing.
Tucker: Woah, hang on a second dude. You didn't delete my, uh, "Home Movies" folder did you?
Epsilon: And that brings me to my second point.
Camera zooms out on the Blues and focuses on Wash and Carolina standing on an overlooking balcony
Carolina: What a bunch of worthless idiots.
Wash: Yeah, they're idiots, but, they're not that bad once you get to know 'em.
Wash: You know, we almost managed to trap the Meta the last time we were here.
Carolina: But you didn't.
Carolina slowly walks off from Wash along the balcony.
Wash: No. I guess not.
Fade into the past
U.N.S.C. SCRAP METAL RECYCLING STATION, MANY YEARS AGO...
Cut to Wash, South, York, North and Carolina jet packing through space.
Carolina: I don't get it, everything stopped.
North Dakota: Maybe they're retreating...
York: Nothing left out here but a bunch of junk.
Cut to a Pelican dropship flying through space. Cut to the inside of it where Four Seven Niner is seen.
Four Seven Niner: This is Four Seven Niner, I have lost visual on targets. It's like they all just left.
Cut to the inside of the Mother of Invention where the Director and Counselor are walking to a lookout position
Counselor: Sir, their outpost is disabled, and it looks as if we have driven off the remaining fighters.
Director: Well, good riddance to bad rubbish Counselor.
Counselor: Indeed sir, all enemy systems appear to be offline. Wait...
The Counselor examines something he sees from in the distance.
Director: What is it?
Cut to an enemy ship named the "Staff of Charon" emerging from hundreds of scrap metal pieces, going online. Cut to Four Seven Niner in a drop ship
Four Seven Niner: It's a trap, they're hiding in the junkyard. Repeat, it's a trap!
Cut to inside the Mother of Invention where the Director and Counselor are still standing
Director: Evasive maneuvers!
Cut to inside the enemy ship where the Insurrectionist Leader and an Insurrectionist are standing
Insurrectionist Leader: Fire.
The enemy ship fires at the Mother of Invention, hitting it several times. Cut to the inside where machinery is heard sparking and the ship is shaking
Director: Son of a bi-
Cut to the a look of the two ships, both firing and hitting each other. Cut to the inside of the Mother of Invention again where soldiers are being tossed left and right, due to the blasts coming from the enemy ship. Cut to the enemy ship revealing more turrets which then fire at the Mother of Invention. Cut back to the inside showing the Director and Counselor
The Director hits a panel in anger. Cut to the enemy ship droping a device, the camera then zooms in revealing it's a nuke. Cut to the inside of the enemy ship again where C.T, the Insurrectionist Leader and the Insurrectionist are watching.
Insurrectionist: We're away sir, new course laid in. Are you sure you don't want to stay and finish this?
Insurrectionist Leader: Heh, I left our guests a present.
Camera zoom in on the nuclear device beeping while the enemy ship jets off. It is then passed by Four Seven Niner in the pelican, cut to the inside. A screen alerts Four Seven Niner reading "Nuclear Device Detected" while an alarm is sounding
Four Seven Niner: Guys, get out of there, they've outfitted that piece of junk with nukes!
Cut to inside the Mother of Invention with the alarm still sounding
Director: Fall back, Counselor.
Counselor: Falling back, Director.
The Mother of Invention turns into jet off postition. Cut to the Freelancers
Carolina: Go! Go! Go!
The Freelancers increase their jet pack speed and head toward the dropship. Cut to the inside
Four Seven Niner: Get inside now!
The dropship opens it's rear bay and all of the Freelancers, except Wash, get in. As the Freelancers look out they notice Wash
York: Wash, what are you doing? Get in here, use your jet pack.
Wash: I-I don't want to end up like Georgia!
Carolina: Oh for God's sake.
Carolina shoots her grappling hook at Washington's crotch plate
Wash: Huh? AHHH!
Wash gets slowly pulled towards the ship. Carolina yanks the grappling hook in order to lead Wash inside the Pelican. Carolina manages to pull Wash inside the Pelican, with Wash hitting the Pelican's ceiling and ground in the process. The Pelican's rear bay doors close and it jets off. Cut to the nuclear bomb slowly drifting into a piece of scrap metal. On contact it explodes and the Pelican is seen escaping the explosion. Cut to the inside.
Four Seven Niner: Everyone okay back there?
York (sarcastically): Never better, thanks for asking.
Director(over radio): What the hell just happened people? Tell me you accomplished your mission.
Carolina(over radio): Negative sir, their leader escaped.
North Dakota: Well, looks like the enemy lives to fight another day.
South Dakota: Again.
Director (over radio): That is most unfortunate. Are all agents accounted for?
The Freelancers look around
Carolina: All except C.T., sir. She's gone.
Director (over radio): Define "gone," agent.
- This episode marks the return of the running gag "Son of a-", but in this case no one dies, they're just cut off.
- The nuclear mine may be a reference to a HORNET Mine, a nuke used in the Halo universe.
- The "Pull from the Groin" gag returns when Carolina's grappling hook catches onto Washington's groin and pulls him into the ship.
- This episode marks the first time in which Tucker has an A.I. inside of his helmet, making him the last of the main Blood Gulch soldiers to have one.
- It is implied that Tucker has pornography on his helmet, according to Epsilon stating that he had to delete 50 gigabytes of Tucker's "home movies".