|Red vs. Blue Episode|
Upward Mobility is the first special episode in the Halo 3 Preparations series.
Sarge explains to the Reds about the basis weapon changes in Halo 3. He shows the change in the Needler as an example.
Fade into Sarge standing before his team.
Sarge: Alright men, as you know we're about to through some serious upgrades around here. Command has asked me to help you prepare for the move from Halo 2 to Halo 3.
The squad cheers in excitement.
Sarge: Now I know that going through these changes can be scary, but as long as you know what to expect, I think you'll be fine. For instance, you may notice that you voice will be getting deeper and that you may find girls slightly less icky. That's perfectly normal.
Simmons: Um sir, I think your giving the wrong speech.
Sarge: What, oh yeah right. (shuffles through papers and clears throat) Got a lot of these things. Is this it? Some of the common side effects you'll notice from Halo 3 are increased appetite, dry mouth, night terrors-
Grif: I don't think so. That sounded like a pharmaceutical speech.
Sarge: Well how about this? Once we get used to our new overlords, I'm sure we'll all appreciate their iron fisted rule.
Sarge: Deeeeer; flash flood warning until 10:00 P.M?
Sarge: Corporate Paradigm shift?
Sarge: Hostile takeover?
Simmons: Keep going.
Sarge: Better graphics. New weapons and maps?
Simmons: Okay yeah, that sounds like the right one.
Sarge: Alright here we go. (clears throat) Men, I've been asked by command to get you ready to get you ready for the transition from Halo 2 to Halo 3. So we're going to have a series of lessons of what you can expect. Some of the things you may notice right away in Halo 3 are the better graphics and all the new weapons and maps. We'll be covering those today.
Donut: Uh can I still have the deep voice?
Cut to Church spying on the reds through his sniper scope.
Tucker: What are they talking about down there?
Church: I think I heard them say they're doing lay offs or something like that.
Tucker: Woo hoo! Less guys to fight! Wait a second, blue teams isn't doing lay offs right?
Church: Not that I know of.
Tucker: Woo hoo!
Cut back to the reds with Sarge holding a needler.
Sarge: Now I think your all familiar with the needler correct?
Grif: I guess, I never used it.
Simmons: You never used your regular gun either.
Grif: I know, but we're specifically talking about the needler here.
Donut: I've used it all the time!
Simmons: You did?
Donut: What? It matches my armor.
Sarge: There were some complaints about the current revision of the needler.
Sarge fires multiple shots at the Warthogs tires and then they explode doing no damage.
Sarge: Especially in the area in overall firepower.
Simmons: Heh, no kidding.
Sarge pulls out another needler.
Sarge: Luckily the boys upstairs sent along this prototype of the Halo 3 needler. You may notice a slight difference.
Sarge shoots a single needle in the Warthogs tire and it then explodes destroying the vehicle.
Grif: Whoa! Dude dibs on the new needler. I don't even care if I have to wear pink armor to use it.
Donut: This is going to be awesome!
Screen fades to black and reappears with images of a Spartan and Covenant controllers and wireless headset.
Sarge: Today's episode is brought to you by the limited edition Halo 3 Spartan controller.
Elite: Covnenant controller!
Sarge: (groans) And Halo 3 wireless headset. Say goodbye to the clutter of cables. Get out of here cables who need ya! Hey yeah!