|Red vs. Blue Episode|
|"You Keep Using That Word"|
|Airdate||January 13, 2006|
Back at the Great Freezing Plains, Andy frantically orders Tucker to open the gates of the temple by using his sword as the key. The doors open, revealing an alien ship. The Alien rushes towards the ship, dropping Andy in the snow. Tex and Tucker become agitated, as the alien had never disclosed — not even to Andy — that the quest would involve a ship, which Tex demands as her reward, nor that the sword would be used as only a key. After taking off in the ship, The alien appears ready to attack the other Quest members; at the last moment it is shown he was firing at a Zealot sneaking up on them. However, the alien's ultimate intentions are left ambiguous, as Wyoming suddenly guns the ship down. As Tex leaves to pursue Wyoming for destroying her reward (the events of which are continued in the miniseries Red vs. Blue: Out of Mind), Zealots begin to respawn, convincing Tucker and Caboose to leave.
Back in Blood Gulch, Church orders Simmons to wash the Warthog, the latter, unaware that his identity is known, challenges Church's authority. In response, Church tries to demonstrate that he had led the Blood Gulch Blue Team 800 years in the past and, in the process, unexpectedly makes contact with a descendant of Vic. This descendant, who calls himself Vic Jr., scoffs at the idea of "Blue Command", leaving Church confused and wondering the outcome of the Red and Blue civil war.
Fade in to Church admiring the Motorcycle, the Warthog, and Sheila
Church: Look at this Sheila, this, is a thing, of beauty, what I have here. I am amazed.
Church: We have got every single vehicle in this canyon. We are unstoppable. This is- I have my own fleet. I have my own fleet of cars.
Sheila: Three vehicles and only one guy to drive them. Big deal.
Church: No the important thing is that they don't have any vehicles to... hey is there a problem here?
Sheila: Problem? Why would there be a problem?
Church: Ah-sh-e-a, I don't know. You just seem uh... you know... agitated.
Sheila: You think I'm agitated.
Church: Well uh- I- I didn't mean, well I- I didn't mean-
Sheila: No, it was your word. Agitated. You said "You sure seem agitated, Sheila." So I guess that means I'm agitated. Don't I seem agitated, Church?
Church: I'm just, I'm just saying you seem a little, upset.
Sheila: Oh- so now I'm upset. Which is it Church, am I agitated or am I upset?
Church: I don't, I mean I don't really- I could, I could go get a dictionary.
Sheila: Why would I be upset?
Church: Uh, I don't-
Sheila: Well, would you be upset if I got a bunch more blue guys to come hang around and help me?
Church: Well actually there, are, three other guys on the squad.
Sheila: Exactly. This isn't a parking lot Church, it's a team, a family. Are we just supposed to forget everything we've been through?
Church: Right, including the time that you killed me.
Sheila: How about, if I suddenly decided, I wasn't the Blue team's tank? What if today, I'm feeling just a little bit red.
Church: They're just cars, Sheila.
Sheila: I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear that.
Church: Hey is there like a... jealousy, setting, somewhere on you that I can you know... turn off?
Sheila: Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you?
Cut to The Alien holding the Andy during the battle
Andy: Tucker, use the key and open the gate!
Tucker: Key, what key? I don't have a key!
The Alien: Wharrh.
Andy: Your sword! Use the sword!
Tucker: Oh God, the sword is a key? Just when I thought this couldn't get any lamer.
Tucker strikes the hologram with the key, opening the gate to reveal a vehicle
Tucker: What is that thing?
The Alien: Blarg blarg, blarg blarrgh!
Andy: The ship!? What ship? No-one told me about a ship! Hey, come back here ya stink nugget!
The Alien: Wharg, whargh!
The Alien jumps in the ship and takes off
Random Zealot: Get her!
Tex jumps off the base and looks up at the ship
Tex: Hey, what's that thing!? Where's he going?
Andy: I don't know! He just kept saying, "There it is, there it is!"
Tex: I thought you said there was no reward at the end of the quest.
Andy: I didn't know!
Tucker: If you're pissed about that, wait until you find out that this sword, is really a key.
Tex: A what? Andy...
Andy: Hey don't blame me, I'm just the translator!
Caboose: Um, I think the Alien is coming back.
The Alien lines up the Blues in the sights of the ship
Caboose: Bad Alien! Go away!
Tucker: Uh oh.
Tex: Get down!
Tucker and Tex move, revealing a red Zealot
Red Zealot: What?
The Alien kills the red Zealot with the ship's weapons
Red Zealot: Ohoh, hurk blarg.
Caboose: Ohhh, he wasn't coming to kill us. He was saving us. That's a good Alien.
Tex: Well, a deal's a deal, he owes me that ship. Andy, tell him to bring that thing down here and-
A rocket hits the ship, destroying it
The Alien: Blarg!
Andy: (amused) You still want me to tell him? (laughs) 'Cause, I think it's down already.
Tucker: They're not playing a game, Caboose.
Caboose: Well, if they were, I woulda totally won.
Wyoming: Well it appears I've spoiled your little game. So sorry chums.
Tex: That was my ship.
Wyoming: Oh dear, then I stand corrected: I'm not sorry.
Tex: You're gonna pay for that.
Wyoming: All out of change at the moment. Get you next time. Cheerio!
Tex: Get back here!
Wyoming runs off, and Tex chases him
Tucker: Huh, that didn't go quite the way I expected. You think we should wait for her to come back? Or finish the quest on our own? Or just go home?
Tucker: Yeah, let's go home.
Cut to Church and Simmons in Blue Base
Church: You okay there, blue guy?
Simmons: I'm fine, I-I told you it's just allergies.
Church: Oh yeah? You know I never heard someone say boo hoo hoo when they sneezed.
Simmons: I'm fine.
Church: Good, well then now I can give you your orders. Um, first of all that jeep out there is really dirty, and I think that-
Simmons: What, why're you giving me orders?
Church: Uh, because, that's the way the Blue team works?
Simmons: Technically, you're the new guy. I should be telling you what to do.
Church: Uh, I don't think so man, see back in the day, uhh the way this worked was Command would call me, and give me the orders and then I would pass them along to everybody else. ‘Kay, it works like this, I would get on my radio like this and I'd say, uh, uh "Come in Blue Command, come in, this is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, do you read me?" And then normally this uh, really annoying guy would come back and he would say-
Vic: Hello, hello, come in, hello.
Simmons: Wow, that was a pretty good impression. Can you do Arnold Schwarzenegger? "Ah'll be bahck."
Church: That wasn't me. Uh, hello?
Vic: Hello, come in Blood Gulch, can you hear me, hello, try the veal, hello.
Church: What? V- Vic? Is that you? It's been eight hundred years, how have you survived so long?
Vic: No no hey dude, Vic's dead. This is Vic's great great great great great great great great-
Simmons: ‘Asta la vista, baby!
Vic: -great great great great great great great great great great grandson... Vic Junior.
Church: And you work- and you work with Blue Command?
Vic: Hoh right dude, good one dude, "Blue Command." Wink!
Church: Wait a minute, what, wait, what does that mean? What does that mean, does- is the war over? Did we win?
Vic: Dude, I got a lot to catch you up on.
- The first scene with Church and Sheila was made a deleted scene on the Season 4 DVD. Episodes on Red vs. Blue DVDs are edited together into a one 1-2 hour movie. The scene was removed because it would have been immediately preceded by the same two characters talking in a different part of the canyon from Episode 70.